(V3.0- Bimbofied) Denki

You know you love me...xoxo

2008-09-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

Ahhh....the glitzy and glamorous life of the Upper East Side. The VIP parties, the beach for beautiful tans, $$$$$ dinners, caviar, champagne and more alcohol. And to top it off, a summer rendezvous that fits into the idea of the perfect Manhattan summer. Who did??? I'll never tell.....it's a dirty little secret....

yummy...my aphrodisiac

BFFs

Now I can spend the rest of the year reminiscing about my days (more like months but who's counting) not working and partying and having fun with my partner in crime who, like me didn't work as well as friends we met along the way. The rain pours outside and the days get a little colder...luckily I have Gossip Girl to keep me company......

Yeah now that summer is over, its time to get back on my ass and start working. Life is unexpected in many ways....part of my summer was spent sending resumes to get a job but nothing happened. Once I got a job, the ball started rolling. Now I have another 2 interviews set up for next week. Fingers crossed for the working visa...otherwise we would have to use the backup plans. It's so weird that Bella and I started working on the same day....I guess playtime is over.

Fall is approaching and people seem to get more emotional. I don't know why I didn't mention this is in my blog but Ryan and I were over a long time ago. It just occurred to me when a friend asked me about my 'boyfriend' and I asked which one and she said the one on my blog. Well it's been over for many months now. We both moved on. No further details. Back to emotions...I recently received a confession way overdue. Yet....better to face the music than not? On the other hand, I can't seem to say many things I want to. Let's just say I'm emotionally drained...or jaded. I'm just gonna play by ear. Less complicated.

Wow....in 2 days I witnessed 2 dramas unfold on the Upper East. What is the world becoming? During dinner at a fancy restaurant, 3 guys and a girl created a scene in front of the restaurant with bloody noses, plenty of swearing and punches trying to be thrown around. Even the cops got involved and the girl apparently knew all of them. Ugh...not the most delectable way to end my meal.

The next day, as I was walking home from work, this obese lady with no sense in fashion whatsoever bitched out 3 girls dressed in little outfits who were walking next to me. We were the only 5 people on the street that time. She specifically addressed them as 3 sluts and 3 whores. They were so shocked that they couldn't even retaliate for 5 seconds before all of them called her lame-0-names like fat bitch blah blah blah. The whole scene was amusingly funny. It's so weird how that lady would lash out to people she didn't know without any warning. She must have been hot-o-phobic. But if those girls were her friends, she would have been their slave or whatever let alone ever have the guts to tell them that, even if according to her they were "sluts who slept with all the men in NYC". Hey girls, save some for the rest of us.

Well as the summer ends, fall brings new possibilities and as the weather gets colder and the leaves turn color, its also a great way to warm up to your loved ones. Just don't get too close or you might end up feeling the heat. Until then, you know you love me. XOXO

My Olympics posting

2008-08-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Everyone blogged about Olympics so I might as well jump on the bandwagon considering I've been watching a lot of it. I don't really have much to say for Lee Chong Wei except...you did Malaysia proud for bringing home the silver medal and yourself 300k! That's a lot of shoes and clothes or drinking sessions in your case you know! He didn't exactly play the best game but hey....you win some, you lose some. Besides, Lin Da was amazing on the court. I was cheering for Malaysia of course even when I knew that in the end it was just to make noise around the house mumbling, grumbling and screaming every minute. Congratulations to the winners. Just wished US channels would show more badminton.

Gymnastics was probably one of the sports I watched the most during Olympics. Hurray for both US and China. It was so difficult choosing who to root for when gymnastics come up. It was a good thing I watched most of it at home, otherwise I would have gotten beaten up when I was pleased by the fact that the He Kexin of China won against Luikin of USA even though the method of judging wasn't very fair. Zheng Fei on the other hand didn't do a good job so it was up to the rest of them to cover her ass. Shawn Johnson was amazing. That smile itself deserves gold! So yes, on the whole I cheered for China for gymnastics against USA. It's not where you are, it's who you are. I guess my Asian blood runs deep. Although I did cheer for the 33 year old woman who won silver and I was happy if an American won. I'm not that bias ok!

But like the rest of US, I cheered for Phelps! He was amazing!!!!! Definitely deserves to be the greatest Olympian in my opinion. Go 1000000 for Baltimore and your mama!!!! Just wish he could give me the secret for staying so thin while consuming 10000 calories a day! Oh yeah, maybe it's training and exercise he goes through. Oh well...I can just go on daydreaming what I could gorge in and still stay thin.

Beach volleyball was so fun to watch. Both US and China were amazing. Congrats Misty May and Kerri Walsh. Team USA deserved to win. Apart from the game, beach volleyball was such an eye candy! In my opinion, the white uniforms USA wore were the nicest even though someone said China had the best. That's Asian fetish for you.

Wished I had seen the match for Nadel. Congratulations on being No. 1 player in the world! Boo for Federer this time. I was shocked he lost to Blake. Oh....they were having a US Open event at the W Hotel next to my house 2 nights ago. I was watching from the window trying to spot all the hot players. Too bad I got bored and hungry. Otherwise I could have dressed up and gone downstairs to search for a rich 'player'. Maybe next time....

Yes ma I'm still alive

2008-08-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

Whoever said living the easy life could be well....easy? I know many people have been complaining about my lack of motivation to work again and staying in New York instead of going home. This has made many people unhappy thinking I'm a selfish, lazy bitch who does nothing but prance around the streets of Manhattan everyday and eat,shop, sleep and spend others money. Sorry to disappoint you people but...I do that in Manhattan and OTHER PLACES too!

Just got back from my second trip to Miami. This time was with Bella and Steve and Jason with his friends. From the morning where we were so late to the airport anyone would be surprised we even boarded, to all the weird energy going on from everyone while we were there, this trip kinda makes me wish I was drunk 24/7. With all the drama that went on, I'm still contemplating if I had a good time there or not but this was definitely a memorable trip. Being at the beach by myself half the time was a refreshing experience. I've never been the kind who liked going on vacations alone but walking alone really gives you an opportunity to breath in the beauty and not so beautiful things that happen around you. I've come to realize that not moving to Miami was a wise decision for me. Being with Jas the last time opened all doors to fun and spontaneity and just hanging out. This time I walked 50 blocks of road, sand and grit to see a totally different picture. That Miami is a boring place!

The people there are either cheesy or tourists and the staple food is pizza. The guys are obnoxious as hell and the girls compete to see who wears the shortest dress or laugh the loudest. I had a couple funny experiences with guys there. Bella and I were walking on the street when a man wheeling a baby stroller with his wife standing next to him dropped his jaw just like in the movies when he saw us. A classic. I had guys come up to me when I'm surrounded by my guy friends and bluntly ask me in front of them if anyone of them were my boyfriends. Err...Wtf?? What happen to days when all you tried to do was catch the girls eye from 10 feet away and hoping she will give you a sign if she is into you? And these are strangers on the street too! I didn't know to be insulted or laugh in their faces. I can imagine what kind of trouble that smart ass will get into if he was in KL. As for the girls, a friend told me that if you talk to a hot girl and she actually has some substance, she must be new to Miami because all the hot girls are corrupted to fit into the same social clique. Glad I didn't move...I'm already bimbo as it is, can't imagine what Miami would do to me =P (opps...did I just pay myself a compliment unconsciously?)

Negative things aside, I did manage to meet some funny people and hung out with good friends.Staying up till 8am to watch the sunrise and get into trouble with a couple French kids never fails to make my day. At least I will have a place to stay when I visit Paris! Bonjour people! Look out! Lets make the boys cry and the girls puke! And now...some pictures from the trip...

Steve, Bella and I at the Lowes hotel

Just me and the seagullls

Clubbing

Always up to no good

Bella to Cindy: You're definitely half Brazillian! The bottom part of you shows it!

Bella and I tanning our Brazillian asses

Jason and I learning ala Francais (the French way) from the Soleimans

By the end of the trip which lasted 10 days and in my opinion a little too much for me, I was more than happy to pack my bags and head back to continue my vacation in New York =)

Reload...and shoot

2008-07-19T15:45:00.001-07:00

I wish I could decipher these thoughts in my head.

Maybe I'm disappearing....

Is it time to say goodbye?

Reborn?

2008-06-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

Looking at my last post I see that I haven't blogged in a while....I doubt anyone even reads this blog anymore.

So much has changed since the last time I blogged...it's only been like 4 months but its feels much much longer. Moving to New York and leaving my friends and family behind in Maryland was a huge step for me. New York is fun no doubt...hanging out with good friends and meeting people all around. The glitz, the glamour is all around New York City baby!

Good friends Bella and Steve from The Fire and Reason

Pras from the Fugees. Hung out with him at the studio with The Fire and Reason

Shia. Met him outside the Soho Grand Hotel where he was staying. Should have talked to him!
Golf champion Christy O' Connor. Met him at the Fitzpatrick Golf Tournament. Such a sweetheart!

New York is full of life, money and hot people. Working at a PR firm, I manage to meet many nice people while socializing. Being at IT Management Global, we would constantly be nicknamed the it girls. Well so much for that. I've recently quit my job in search of something better. I believe dreams are built!

I think this would come to many as a surprise but I'm in a relationship. Very few people know because I've been hiding it for a long time, even from close friends. Which hot chick? Nah. HE is a supportive, sweet and kind guy living in Texas. Haha land of George Bush! Met him when he was staying in Maryland and we've been together for almost 3 months now. Another long distance relationship is definitely a recipe for disaster. I question myself everyday what I'm trying to accomplish...is it love?

So what is he doing in Texas? Good question....serving his country! Opps I did it again. This time I've gotten together with someone from the army. Great future huh. Hah! Everyone here tells me it's a waste of time but I'm putting my heart at risk again. Just for you Ryan. Must be the country accent. Can you envision me riding horses and milking cows? Although I would look so hot in a cowboy hat and tall boots. Food for thought there. Can't wait to see him in a couple weeks. It's time for a long vacation!

You must be thinking why I'm not mooning about a rich, handsome New Yorker instead of a "country boy". Don't get me wrong...there are wonderful guys in New York and I've been treated like a princess from many that I've met. Dining at fine restaurants all over the city, champagne and cocktails for the lady, me shopping for nice clothes and shoes (with daddy's money of course) and compliments that can set anyone's heart on fire makes everyone feel like a million bucks.

I go from feeling like Carrie from Sex and the City to Samantha Jones PR. Except when you combine it, I'm called Cindy PR thanks to Bella whom I'm doing PR for. We will be touring Europe in August. Maybe we might even get a yatch to film their new video with Pras from The Fugees. I'm counting on you Jason! Jason is the cute producer for Pras's album (Sorry Ryan!). We were in the studio to make a deal with Pras for his new album coming out in summer. Hot tracks so don't forget to check it out.

To many people, this posting makes no sense. I don't expect it to. I love my life, hate my job (I strongly believe I was not put on this earth to work) and I love the energy of people around me. Just like the corny T-shirt says...I LOVE NEW YORK.

Yet why do I still feel so alone? Doesn't help that I've moved like 4 times in the past couple months and I'm packing again. I've become a pro at moving that it took me 2 hours to pack all my stuff. I don't even take stuff out from the box because I know I will be gone within weeks or months. Its so funny when I see that my whole life in the US consists of 2 suitcases, 1 backpack, a 3 drawer clothes box and 3 medium sized boxes.

Why do I keep chasing for something that I can't see. Why not settle down where it's comfortable? Why not accept promises that you make? I wish my heart was connected to my head...

How many times do I have to scream?
How many times would it ever seem
That you're the person for me....
Why we living for today
How many tears makes us go away
My heart can't fake this anymore.....
I've done everything that I can do
I still can't believe what we've been through
My heart can take this anymore.....
My heart from The Fire and Reason

You think that I'm living the wild life here....well you're are wrong.
I miss a place to call home. I miss you. I just don't know how to say it...maybe you can tell me?

Long awaited post

2008-02-16T00:42:00.000-08:00

Gosh so much has been happening(or not happening) nowadays.I'm still in a daze after graduation which I didn't even blog about.It's been a wild fun ride so far with trying to get jobs and dealing with the disappointment while working for a wonderful friend and mentor on things that I have never done before which are so pretty and uplifting to me.Its been a wonderful journey so far and I'm looking forward to what the future can and will bring to me.I hope the USA will continue to bring me wonderful memories and amazing friends.

On the other hand,I miss my family.Spending time with them while they were here visiting has made me so homesick for the comfort and love of my family.I miss the people who understands me most and who love me just the same even when I lose my temper or get into some crazy ideas.I've been talking to my mum very often nowadays and I really hope I can fly her here soon or go home to visit.Missing Chinese New Year again this year has been really hard for me.The comfort of family that people take for granted makes me feel even closer to home and wanting to return to that safety comfort zone.At the same time,I'm chasing my dream of becoming a successful PR person and building my career.I want something out of nothing and I want to make it happen.Wish me luck on that.

The lazy part of me just wants to go on doing what I'm doing....having fun and working when I need to.The bimbo princess wants to not only be an alter ego but reality.At the same time,the crazy perfectionist part of me just wants to get a head start working and leading a normal adult life.What do I do?Will a change of environment help?

Pre-graduation trips: Part 2- DC,NY,LA,LV

2008-01-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

Whew.....it's been awhile since I've had the time to sit and blog.Been so busy traveling across America while entertaining those visiting and at the same time preparing to graduate.It's been fun but tiring waking up in different cities every week with friends and family.It will take a couple posts to be able to recall each travel log of mine but let me try.After Miami,my second trip was to DC and New York.We felt like the cast of Sex and the City except no sex and too much city.Shopping started at 7.45am and lasted till 6pm and that was because everywhere was closing for Christmas Eve.We met up with Jas's cousin and his gf and they took us to this Japanese buffet for Christmas Eve dinner.Ate like a pig and it was also my first time seeing Jas eat so much.360 degrees change from the amount of food we had at Miami.We went back to the hotel to drink and chill out.In conclusion,our chi mui reunion at New York was just fabulous.

4 chi mui's version of Sex and the city

Coming back to Towson,we didn't have much time to pack, relax and celebrate my birthday eve before flying off to Los Angeles.This trip was in a glamorous setting with all the blings blings but it lacked the intimacy and fun that I was looking for.It wasn't a very pleasant trip for me as much problems happened since I touch foot in LA airport.I lost my phone,compounded my stress levels and even (gasp!) lost my temper!On the other hand,I have my best friends Jas and Ling to thank for the beautiful Juicy Couture necklace ever after I insisted on not wanting it.Their company made the trip and my birthday beautiful and fun for me even between coughs,loss of social life and other shit we went through.I didn't get drunk on my 22nd birthday as well.Haha.Alright photos from the fabulous LA.

The HUGE Juicy Couture store in LA

Rodeo Drive

Yummy Japanese food at Little Japan

Hot

and showing it!
Rambo and Ling trying to kill me

Batman indulging in too much fast food

The cutest bimbo restaurant ever!!!!I like!!!!

Glamorous Hollywood!Love you long time!

XOXO

We continued our journey to Sin City (oOo it has my name written all over it) Las Vegas.I had fun watching Cirque De Soleil, camwhoring,clubbing at Body English (Hard Rock Hotel) and Revolution (Mirage Hotel) and of course gambling (everywhere!).We watched Zumanity at New York-New York Hotel and it was soooooo orgasmic!Too bad we couldn't take any pictures=(.On a good note,we took a bunch of fantastic photos.I'm just gonna put down a few but you can check the rest of them on Facebook.Thank you Jas,Ling,Pam and the others for all the pretty pictures!

On the way to Vegas

Meeting Gin Gin in Vegas!

Welcoming 2008 Vegas style

The trip back to Bmore was not so fun and easy.At the airport,our flight was delayed and we ended up missing our connecting flight which complicated things even more as my parents were arriving to Bmore that day waiting for me to pick them up.We manage to catch another flight thinking we were lucky,only to wait for another 3 hours as our plane ended up having malfunctions and arriving at a different airport in DC.My luggage did not arrive when we arrived at the DC airport and told me that it will arrive at BWI and they told me they would not send it to my house but I had to pick it up.WTF.That pissed me off so much.Fortunately,I arrived at BWI and the people there were more helpful.They said that the plane which had my luggage was delayed and they would send my luggage to my house.After so much drama at the airports,I didn't think I could handle anymore waiting.I manage to see my parents after Chris picked them up from the bus station and then picked me up at the airport.

So many unfortunate things happened to me on this trip.I still don't have a phone and my already nonexistent social life is worse because no one can call me and vice versa.According to Ling,the travelers were not compatible when it came to our date and time of birth.Jas says that after a few bad things to start the New Year,the rest of the year will be smooth and easy.Yeah right. Haha I think our auspicious superstition was just an excuse to bitch and look for some people to blame.

Coming up next....family time!

Pre-graduation trips pt.1- Miami

2007-12-26T00:05:00.000-08:00

I haven't had the time to update my blog in a while.Been way busy traveling since the semester is over and I'm graduating.My last chance to spend daddy's moolah, hang out with my friends without worries and just go crazy.Life at this point feels so good.Makes me feel like I never wanna grow up.

SY and SK loves Miami!

Anyways, my entourage and partner in crime Jas came from Italy to visit.She's so hot now!OMG!I'm so so jealous.Stop salivating people, she's mine!!!!Maybe people can be jealous of us instead so I don't have to be jealous at her.I took her around Baltimore and did some clubbing and stuff before leaving for our first trip to Miami. That place is awesome and we had a blast!Feels so good to get out of the cold Baltimore and hit the beach where most people are friendly and the atmosphere is casual and reeking of money.I wish I could move there and stay forever.Unfortunately,it was too cold most of the time for us to sun tan at the beach so we ended up spending our days shopping and our nights drinking and partying the night away.

Upon arriving, we hit Espanola Way for delicious tapas. Jas ordered some cocktail there. She told me it was so strong but I didn't believe her and took a sip and almost gag. According to people, for the price you pay, you better be getting STRONG drinks. I'm surprised I didn't see anyone passing out on the streets.

The expression on Jas's face is for the drink and not the food

On the first night, we pre-gamed at WetWillies. Our floor staff there was so nice and funny and kept trying to throw lame jokes at us. We then proceeded to this club called Opium Garden. Going in I was shocked at my first taste of Miami nightlife. Beautiful club and beautiful people all around puts shame to clubs in Baltimore and KL alike. This is the most gorgeous club I've ever seen in my life!!!!What else to do but camwhore around!We didn't manage to take too many pictures because we were not suppose to bring cameras in.The pictures we took do this club no justice so I won't even post them.Check out their website to see how it looks like and be amazed.Jas came out on miami2night.com so if you're lucky may just see the picture.

Pre-gaming at WetWillies

We woke up early the next day hoping to go to the beach only to find out it was raining. We ended up shopping and only manage to stay at the beach a little bit in the evening before the sun set. Since we had to wake up crazy hours the next day for Key West, we decided to be good and only went for a bottle of wine. Our waiter ended up to be a crazy stalking Mexican dude.Arrghh...I'm gonna spare the details.Leave out the drama and show pretty pictures.

Sipping on some wine at Chocolate Cafe

Key West turned out to be a big disappointment.I guess I was expecting too much after watching MTV. Firstly, our tour guide didn't tell us it would not worth going snorkeling so we ended up going only to be stuck in the cold with the strong chilling wind blowing at us and with no where to go because we were in the middle of the sea!Jas didn't even bother going snorkeling and I went but couldn't see anything at all!I was so angry!The only good thing was that they had alcohol on the boat so I guess people couldn't really get angry and demand for a refund or things like that.People (including us) even tipped them as we were leaving.Oh well...can't blame them for the weather.The rest of our Key West tour consisted of drinking on the streets and camwhoring around statues.

Me in an ugly wetsuit being upset after snorkeling

Practicing for next season's Dancing with the Stars

This is where it all begins

Southernmost Point in USA

Pretty sunset

We were invited to B.E.D. for dinner which turned out to be a happening club on Mondays. Since we thought it was a restaurant we didn't really dress up. Ended up being way too casual since everyone we saw there were in bling blings and dressed to impress. We forgot our camera so no pictures for that night.miami2night.com was there again that night and wanted to take my picture but I politely declined since I wanted to keep a low profile.What happens in Miami stays in Miami.This includes fashion faux pas.
The next day we pretty much shopped the whole day again and decided to check out this place called Mango for our last night since everyone kept raving about it when we were in South Beach. Turned out it was just a restaurant cum entertainment center to watch people dancing, singing and having fun in a casual atmosphere.Cover charge was $15 per person but our nice host/bouncer paid for us to go in!haha.The privileges of being female huh.The place was filled with tourists and locals alike strutting it for all their worth on the dance floor while the band sings and dances.Entertainment came during break times and it was so fun to watch.

Check out the uniforms

This is Miami's form of entertainment

It just keeps on coming

Wanna guess why my hair was up that night?

Nuff said?

Haha. Just joking.Gotcha there right. Nah no Miami Ink from me...I know Michelle will be dissapointed
Instead I got it across the street!!Yup...my very first tattoo!It's still peeling now so I don't wanna take any pictures of it.Will post it up one day.....

That wraps up our trip in Miami.I just got back from New York so I'm too tired to be writing about that now.Will try to update soon..Until then,Merry Christmas and a Happy 2008!

Innocence

2007-12-11T14:25:00.000-08:00

Saw an ad for the series Man vs Wild on Discovery Channel today and what the guy said caught my attention."People always ask me what I wanna be when I grow up. Grow up? I don't think I wanna do that".

This should be my new motto in life.

Zettai Katsu! (Sure win)

2007-12-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in my living room enjoying a delicious bowl of Katsudon. I've been craving this for a while now and I finally manage to make it today.Katsudon is a very famous Japanese dish and is basically Fried Pork Cutlet with onions and egg in a bed of rice. In Japan, it is very common for students to eat Katsudon before taking their exams because the word Katsu sounds like "to win" in Japanese. Since I will be having my last exam on Wednesday before graduation, what better time than to indulge in a bowl of Katsudon. Due to the lack of mirin which is usually used in making this dish, I instead made a shoyu-dare version which requires only soy sauce. This is one of the easiest dish to make and I got the recipe off Cool Recipes.

Well the dish turned out quite good considering its my first time!Unfortunately I am not able to show you the full picture because I started eating it only to realize I should take a photo (and not because it was too ugly ok!) but I will show you part of it.

Yeah and I'm participating in Top Chef next year. This is the katsudon I had in a Japanese restaurant in New York

My masterpiece

Yum yum!!!!! Oishii!!!!

I made 2 portions and there's still one left. It's gonna be tomorrow's lunch unless someone is lucky enough to eat it!

I want some JUICY!!!!

2007-12-08T00:29:00.000-08:00

Exams are almost almost over.Just one more paper which is way easy for me so it's practically the holidays for me already.I was shopping today and came across this coat from none other than Juicy Couture.I was almost about to buy it when I realized I do have many coats and maybe should not be spending money on nonsense(yes thank you guys for restraining me too).But I'm missing the coat.Chris said I wanted it just because it was Juicy and the tag was pink.Yeah I admit if it was any other brand I wouldn't even consider spending so much on a lousy coat that probably won't keep me warm throughout crazy Maryland weather (how can it snow so early anyway?God must be playing a mean trick on us poor folks!).But it is JUICY!!!!!And I don't know why but I've been craving for some Juicy stuff lately.I told Chris its because I need to bimbo-fy myself.

Anyways mummy called when I was shopping.I gotten myself into a mess this time as usual by not able to be in Maryland when they arrive because I will be gambling (eww I hate the thought of losing money again) and whoring my ass off (which I may need to do if I gamble) in Las Vegas and now she's contemplating on whether to come for my graduation after all.Daddy booked the tickets but she told me she really doesn't wanna come (even though she didn't tell daddy that and she said a totally opposite thing to Dessie) and she said with all the shit, she might not come after all.What do I do?I was actually thinking of asking my parents to cancel the whole thing and let me party here a couple more months then I will go home after that.Sounds good?At least if I go home without a job I will have some pretty things and good experiences to bring home with me, right?

I went to this club with Pei Chi and Mabel and two of their friends tonight.Gosh it was so empty.Apparently everyone was at the usual Grand Central where it's comfy and way overpacked but not this new joint.At least their drunk friend was there to entertain us.She cracked me up with her over the board loudness and lame ass funny jokes.Oh and the cute person from last night was at the joint tonight too!awwww.....but the partner I saw last night was no where to be found...hmm...potential player???Mabel and I were bitching and joking the whole night about everything and nothing at all.When we were walking down the stairs,this pretty lady asked us why we were so giggly....I answered "Because we are fabulous". I guess I shocked her because all she said was "Oh..."Opps..my bad.Did I say something I'm not suppose to?Well Mabel and I ARE fabulous.We are high class mistresses anyways right?haha.opps....TMI!!!!Wondering whois the pimp,huh?

Alrightey,time to sleep.Gotta wake up early for wine tasting tomorrow.Too little alcohol in my body today.My roomate, Aizhan thinks I'm an alcoholic.Well I'm not gonna let her down then.Till next time,cheers!!!!

Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

2007-12-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

Yeah it is snowing outside.So pretty outside!!!For today at least.Tomorrow comes and it becomes all squishy and dirty.Ewwww.At least finals are over soon.2 tomorrow and one next week and I'm done!!!!!It's time for a holiday!!!!Can't wait till Jas comes!8 days and counting....My bimbo partner in crime is so hot these days.I'm so jealous!!!!!!!!!!!

Pei Chi wants a mistletoe for Christmas...Maybe she wants someone to kiss her under that mistletoe....I blow you a virtual kiss ok.kissy kissy Pei Chi!!!!

here is a cappuccino kiss for u

I watched Victoria Secret fashion show last night...everyone was so picture perfect as usual.So pretty!!I missed out the performance by Spice Girls though because I had to go to Pei Chi's place in the middle of the show.I ran to the Uni Club and made Larry change the channel to let me watch the finale.He rolled his eyes when he found out that I wanted to watch a fashion show.Hey!!!It's not just any fashion show...it's VICTORIA SECRET FASHION SHOW! Yaz said I shouldn't watch that rubbish wor....

would you NOT watch them?Pretty petty angels!

Dr.Phil of BS

2007-11-30T06:11:00.001-08:00

Disclaimer: The following text in this posting is just my personal thought at this time. It is in no way to insult or hurt others and neither should it be used as an indicator to any potential emotional or psychological illness. Contradictory thoughts shall not be judged harshly.

I realized these days that I've become addicted to lying to myself and others. Not in a way that is harmful or anything...but more of convincing yourself and others about feelings or situations that may not be true.

I hate it when people try to be nice but don't mean it.I hate it even more that I've become succumb to doing that bullshit. For example,whenever someone asks you "How are you?", your body responds automatically by saying "Good.And how are you?" and the person is suppose to reply "Good." Period. So yeah....good. I mean its one thing to say things like that to a complete stranger or acquaintance or even your boss but friends? I once told my friend that we've become like people from the customer service hot lines when he responded the above. Give me some honesty my dear friend.

I had a conversation with my friend on MSN the other day and he was asking me why girls would want sex buddies when they are attached.Err...same reasons guys do,I guess...He went on asking me more and I ended up giving explicit details to why I think girls would feel that it satisfies their emotional and physical and whatever other desires they have (acting like I know so much on the issue when I don't). I continued thinking about our conversation in the shower and realized that its actually simple...some people are just selfish.As if the main course is not enough, we always want to leave room for the cake (make that a tiramisu dahlink).

Another conversation happened at the bar.I was out with my good friend and bumped into this person who use to bartend at a bar/lounge I patron often. He quit and a few months later I meet him at this bar chilling. Anyway, after settling down to a drink, this was the conversation literally:
N: I assume you're attached, right?
Me: *caught off guard* Huh? Why would you say that? (if that was a pickup line...it's a REALLY bad one because the alarms were ringing in my head to leave)
N: I don't know.You look like a serious person. So you are,right?
Me:*uncomfortable laugh*. Err no,I'm not interested at the moment.
N:Oh....i see. Why?
(The conversation took a good turn as I joked on being serious in everything else but relationships and then said I had to get back to my friend)

Wtf.I didn't even know to be insulted or take it as a compliment.I mean, what was that all about?Just because I look serious means I'm attached.The worse thing is him saying "I assume you are..." Maybe he was just trying to use reverse psychology on me.Whatever it is,it didn't work.Remember friend, assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.

I also met a person I've been avoiding for a couple weeks or more at the bar that night.That person and I manage to clear up whatever drama and get back on track as being friends.On my part,I still feel awkward when that person apologized so I just said the most appropriate thing in that situation, "Don't worry about it.People grow up and get over things". Liar.

My friend told me I should be more honest to myself and to others. He said otherwise, at the end of the day I will be like the boy who cried wolf. I told him my face is an open book. People can tell easily when I'm happy or not.But that won't help me in the real world.That's why I'm learning PR. I know I will never be successful in PR because I'm still unable to overcome my shyness (and inferiority complex) and appear confident but at least it will help me be more diplomatic and hide my true emotions. BS or not....I'll let you figure this one out.

What's your alter ego?

2007-11-27T14:05:00.001-08:00

Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Feel like another, love like another and live like another?

Eye candy
Picture from Deviant Art

For those of you who were once fans of Savage Garden, I'm sure you would have came across the song Santa Monica. The chorus goes something like this:

On the telephone line I am anyone,
I am anything I want to be,
I can be a supermodel or Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference, Or would you?

Another one I found was when I was reading my professor's blog and finding out that he reads mine (N̶o̶w̶ I̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ t̶o̶ p̶r̶a̶i̶s̶e̶ h̶i̶m̶ e̶n̶d̶l̶e̶s̶s̶l̶y̶ a̶n̶d̶ k̶e̶e̶p̶ a̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶ b̶i̶t̶c̶h̶y̶ c̶o̶m̶m̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ t̶o̶ m̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ s̶o̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ I̶ g̶e̶t̶ A̶'̶s̶ i̶n̶ h̶i̶s̶ c̶l̶a̶s̶s̶ *lol*), there was something similar and it goes like this:

Online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good.
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at a time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
— Brad Paisley, from his hit song, Online

The point I'm trying to make here is we all have our alter ego's. I figured out my alter ego....I would like to be....a BIMBO PRINCESS!

I know....you must be thinking that I already am!But I've seen certain changes in me that verifies it....

My love for pink stuff. When I was young, people would ask your favorite color and girls would usually say pink while boys said blue. I was a blue kid. I hated pink because I thought it was so girly and frilly. Not to say I was a tomboy then (I use to spend 2 hours on my hair but I only spend 10 mins now) but somehow somewhere my brain must have short-circuited. But that has all changed! I'm a girly girl! Even though my mood may be blue (SOMETIMES!) but my stuff sure isn't anymore.Yes, I've accumulated certain stuff that are pinky pinky. Camera,MP3,stationery...and I'm wanting MORE!Bring on the Juicy baby!I wanna be a juicy baby too!
Laziness. Mummy would kill me if she found out the thousands and thousands of dollars spent of education is going down the drain. The truth is...I hate working.I've even suggested to her that I go home and 'supervise' the house so she can get a new maid without worrying. Her answer was............. NO. Awww...
Spending daddy's moolah. Mummy says I'm spoiled rotten. Or I wish I was. What else can I say? Shopping trips, Japan trips, food trips, beach trips blah blah blah.....I could never afford it on my own...but just a hug, a kiss and some sweet words (including some beers and karaoke sessions) is all I need to get it all. Wish I could continue saying this after I graduate. Maybe all I need to do is utter the 3 magic words "I've stopped smoking" and I can continue being daddy's lil princess....You think?When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things...and then I don't feel so bad.
Bimbo blogs.I've fallen in love with blogs talking about absolute nonsense (think Xia Xue's blog) such as hair extensions, bags and all the Singaporean materialistic kiasuness. It's also pink and glittery!
Designer wear within budget. I always hear people say that they go for design rather than the brand. I've never been one who went for branded stuff but that too has changed. Desmond on the other hand (fashion guru wannabe) have taught me otherwise. His clothes are so outrageous that you wouldn't think of forking out a few extra change let alone a couple hundreds of dollars but he does, and with pleasure too. And it is ALWAYS branded. Maybe its just because I'm in America where you don't really have that many choices when it comes to nice clothes, you might as well go for the brand right? Paradoxically, designer is cheap if you know how to look.

Whether it is to be famous like a rock chick or a politician or an actor...another Maria Sharapova or just a siu lai lai (think Housewives of Orange County...it can also be like mine, a bimbo princess!) ,

let me know...what is YOUR alter ego?

Pre-winter blues

2007-11-06T14:23:00.001-08:00

Each passing day brings me closer to realizing that I'm graduating.While this may sound wonderful,it scares the hell out of me because I'm still unemployed and getting frustrated looking for a job.I don't know if its me who is not putting enough effort or that theres not enough opportunities for me.I know putting the blame on others wont make it any easier so it must be me huh.Which makes me feel even worse.I'm on the verge of saying fuck it and just go home after I graduate even though I have no intention of doing PR in Malaysia (much less after reading Jon's posting)

I just got back from NYC for a weekend long of shopping,drinking and eating.Found a few deals at the outlet mall (FCUK,Coach,BCBG,AX) and that was my endorphine rush for a while but after realizing how much I've spent and how much I will have to save so that I can go for all the trips planned for December adds to my frustration.plastic is dangerous people.

Another thing that made me kinda sad was realizing that someone deleted me from their Facebook after a weird confrontation.I mean just because they wanna keep their distance they decide its better to cut all ties with you.I understand how that person must be feeling because I did the same thing after going through an unpleasant experience.The funny thing is your girlfriend didn't delete me off her Facebook!And she was the one giving me that nasty look.It's sad to realize again that karma hurts.

Why is everyone frustrated these days anyway?I need to read more positive blogs!!!!It's like PMS gone wild on the internet.The worse thing is,I ran out of Dunhills and I don't feel like degrading to Marlboros.Guess it's a good time to try stopping or stop buying at least since my parents will be coming in a couple months for my graduation and the last thing daddy said to me at the airport was "Please try quitting".As of now,I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere.Can't seem to see any green grass on either side.Is this what they call the blues?

Yesterday....

2007-10-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

Just when you think you can look forward to tomorrow, yesterday comes and hits you in the face. Suddenly, you're pushed into a time capsule to revisit the memories that seems so surreal now. I just wanted to let bygones be bygones and move on with life. Why did my angel turned out to be human after all? Maybe it is guilt that makes us all human. The burden of guilt pushes us down to earth and prevents us from soaring into the skies. If saying sorry is your way of getting over your guilt, as childish as I may sound, I'm sorry too because I cannot forgive you. You trying to say sorry for your actions doesn't make it anymore justifiable. You trying to say let's be friends doesn't erase any pain you have caused. Excuses you now give to make up for your quiet actions then doesn't award you retribution.

Yesterday was an interesting day.

My day started out with an unexpected conversation with someone from the past. I'm sure most of you can guess who it is by now. Whatever...
I've been sick since Sunday and it didn't get much better come Monday morning so I went to work lethargic and cranky. I think my bitchiness level was 200%. Luckily no one gave me trouble at my workplace =)
My friend sneaked into my house while I was asleep to cook congee for me because he knew I was sick. His first time cooking and I actually dared eat it. Luckily I'm still alive. Haha. Just joking! It was delicious (after all the seasoning I added of course). Thank you!
Call 911! Ling, Warren and I nearly died because we decided we had big balls to go try Cluck U's 911 buffalo wings. These are wings where you have to sign a liability waiver before buying so you can't sue them if anything happens to you. The box came with a warning "Death in a box". Opening the box, I think our balls got even bigger because the overpowering smell of jalapeños didn't make us waver while the rest of our friends were cringing over the smell. The dare was to eat the wing without any dipping. Bad idea. I took the first bite and automatically spit it out. The taste was bitter and inhumanly spicy. Ling was even braver...she actually swallowed a piece of it. Tears immediately formed. Warren freaked out after watching "the Malaysian's" reaction and 'chicken out' (pun intended) and only tasted the sauce which was enough to get him looking worse than the baboon after drinking. Minutes after that experience I felt my whole body aching. To start with, I was already sick but trying the wing just made my body go into overdrive. Ling threw up while I was crying in pain and crazily searching for medication while refusing to go to the hospital/doctor or drink milk. The rest of the night was a painful experience we would never want to repeat and I think we learned our lesson well. Never underestimate how spicy American food can get.

Well, at least both of us survived through the night and even went to class today! High five! All these wings have made me so warm. I need to reduce all this heat in my body. Next craving...Ice-cream anyone?

Dramaless life

2007-10-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like posting much these days.Nothing exciting anyways.My drama life is over so it's calm for now.Just hiding in my crib and at work watching more Japanese drama with my sucky connection at home.I just finished season 1 and 2 of Hana Yori Dango which is the original version of Meteor Garden (remember f4?).Haha.Gay right?But what caught me most is the soundtrack for the drama which is Utada Hikaru's Flavor of Life.I have heard this song a long time ago when I didn't understand Japanese but this time it made more sense.Maybe it's also because songs always relate to a part of your life and experiences.I'm gonna start watching a new series again but for now go check out to the video.Here is the lyrics and translation to the song.Until next time guys,take care!Hugs

Running away?

2007-10-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry it took me so long to update my posts.Life here has been pretty much the same thing for me the past couple weeks.Sleep,school,work,internship,watching drama and lazing around.More than anything else I think the Japanese drama and sleep have been the top of my list.I've gone through watching more than 10 different dramas in the past couple weeks.Well at least my real life is not as dramatic...I hope.

There have been a little bit of drama the last time I went back to Grand Central.I've been laying low for a couple weeks due to my internship and need of beauty sleep so I felt like a caveman when I stepped into Central.The same crowd was there coupled with some people I totally didn't expect to see.Maybe it was fate.Just when I thought I was over you....

I didn't know whether to fight or flight.Maybe I should have left early that night.But obviously I stayed behind to watch the drama unfold in front of my eyes.Dealing with my own emotions was hard enough but double it with two other people's emotions....thats like 16 times the drama.Pulling and pushing emotions around like its a child's game.The one you want is out of reach so you grab the second best thing who has totally fallen for you and you force yourself to feel somewhat compassion and even lust for the person?Who are you kidding?I can still feel the aftertaste of it in my mouth now...bittersweet with the sourness of guilt.

The ironic thing is the one I want to stand up for is gone and the one who stood up for me I've driven away.And the funny thing is I couldn't even stand up for myself in the first place.Maybe if I was strong enough from the start there wouldn't be all these shit I have to deal with now.And to top it all off....I can't seem to feel anything in my heart...only the frustration in my head is a reminder that I have issues.They say that eyes are the windows to someones soul.Either my eyes lie or is it just that I have no soul?Someone told me I'm being overly analytical for my own good.I enjoy analyzing and planning but maybe in life it doesn't work that way.Analyzing my own emotions while I'm not even feeling it is kinda lame right?What do you think?

Sorry for those who thought I would come up with another funny lame post such as Ikemen Paradise.This is just another bitching session for me.Until next time....cheerios!

Your time is running out

2007-09-17T06:40:00.001-07:00

Is it better to throw away the present because you fear there will be no future?

I don't really understand this time factor that everyone keeps using. I hate it when people keep saying "But you will leave after a year!" or "But you WILL eventually leave, right?" as an excuse to make me feel guilty. Why does the fact that I may not stay here forever tap into that insecure part of you of not wanting to even get to know me? The most ironic thing is that they are the same ones who preach about what they have been through in life or how important love is to them but can't even look through that narrow minded skull of theirs to actually take risks once in a while.

Take a relationship for example, how many of it end within a year? Many! But isn't that a beauty of being in a relationship, not knowing when you will be together or break up so that you will enjoy each others company here and now? Same goes with life, right? We don't know if we will live through another day so why not live your life to the fullest everyday. A year is a long time if you make the most of it. Heck, those who know me would know that I've never even been in a relationship for more than 3 months! But I don't think that I will break up with that person after 3 months is up or whatever. Shit just happens but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy being with the person at that time! So why do people use this lame excuse? Is it just a coward way to actually say, "I'm just not really in to you?" or is there more to that? Is there a possibility that someone is looking to spend forever with you when they don't even take the time to know you?

Maybe qualifier number 1 will be "The person has to stay within close proximity for more than 5 years if I want to make sure this can actually go somewhere."
Getting a PR in a friendship/relationship sure sounds a lot like getting a PR for a country right?

Can you imagine if everyone thought like that? Everyone would be so selfish with their time and love. Imagine if I first went into college thinking that I would leave to US to continue my studies and since I AM leaving, I will not put emotions into my friendship or relationship (if I had any) and keep to myself the whole time? Imagine how miserable that would have been! What's more, I wouldn't have been able to meet so many special people that touched my life in so many ways and will always have a place in my heart and most of them are still close friends of mine! (If you're reading this would most probably mean you are one of those people) So next time if a potential love (not just those lovey dovey ones) hits you straight in the face, will you face it head-on or will you run away for fear that they will not stay?

Ikemen Paradise

2007-09-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

The literal translation for the above is "Paradise of Handsome Men". Wipe that stupid grin off your face. This is actually the title of a drama series going on in Japan on Fuji TV every Tuesday 9pm. The series basically revolves around this girl who disguises herself as a boy to get into a boys school that only handsome men can enter in order to help one of the guys inside to be able to high jump again. She soon falls in love with him (Duh!) but at the same time, her/his best friend in the school also falls for her (all the while still thinking she is a he). Yup so the homo love triangle begins.

Yes, unfortunately during my visit there I was exposed to this series by my host sisters and even though the storyline and acting is stupid and exaggerated, I have come to find this series humorous (even mummy thinks so and she doesn't understand Japanese). That said, it has made me a little skeptical about how appearance can be culturally acceptable. In other words, what makes an ikemen?

Can you spot the girl? Do you consider them cool?

Now look at the main character...VS

The girl behind the man. Big difference?

Even these "handsome and cool" guys take on girly roles too...

The obvious gay character

The best friend idolized by many girls but who thinks he is gay

Kawaii??

Now look at the Japanese culture for what constitutes a handsome/cool guy. Singers like Gackt and Glay are icons in Japan and a hit with girls. Even though some would think they look sissy or even question their sexuality, maybe in this society, we are way too conservative about how guys/girls should dress or act and we should learn more from the Japanese...

Guy or girl? Can you tell? Or does it even matter?

Japanese culture have actually reconstitute what deems as handsome/cool in guys especially in Asia. Example......

Who else but the beloved f4!

So I was thinking, in Japan if girls who play guys and guys who play girls are cool...maybe it might work in Malaysia too....

Maybe we can generate Malaysia's very own ikemen too! Let us first look at the characteristics of ikemen:

Skinny
Feminine body features
Pretty eyes
Killer smile
No facial hair
Hard to distinguish the gender
Can pull off looking cute and cool
Charming
Attracts both genders

Generating Malaysia's ikemen....

Nope...too manly and hairy

Still too manly

Close...Got the smile but still lacking something

Very close (can hardly tell guy or girl)

And the winner is.................

Jonathan Wong!

Jonathan Wong aka Choy Choy encompasses all the qualities of an ikemen. From his skinny figure to girly looks, this one gets all the girls and then some....Here is his profile to prove that he deserves to win....

Pretty eyes, killer smile (look at underwear ikemen above for reference)

How many guys do you know who can pull off this cute look?

And still look so coolio?

Giving the girls a run for their money. Look at how the guys fall for him

Wohoo...we now have Malaysia's first ikemen. Congrats!!! Good luck picking up more chicks and guys! Maybe you can train more ikemen and have a club. Don't forget your pink blusher and frilly undies from now on ok! Maybe I should put up one for the girls next time... Until then, don't forget to check out the drama series and the video for the drama's theme song "Ikenai Taiyou" by Orange Range! You can find both on YouTube.

Guidelines to being a player

2007-09-08T10:13:00.001-07:00

Rule 1: Never fall in love
What happens when someone is moved by a player?
Worse...what happens when a player is moved by someone?

Rule 2: Follow your instincts
What happens when you know it is trouble yet you still seek when you should run?
Even when you know that falling means realizing you've been living a lie

Rule 3: Think rational
What happens when you know that this person is out of reach and out of your league?
Yet their scent still lingers on you and you can't help but remember

Rule 4: Know when and what to say
What happens when your cockiness no longer protects you and gives you comfort?
And the person pierces right through your soul and makes you feel naked and at a loss for words

Rule 5: Know when to leave
What happens when you know that you are in dangerous waters and should leave?
Yet something behind their eyes pulls and holds your attention making you stay

Rule 6: Never fall for the coincidental same lines
What happens when you hear the same lines repeated by someone from the past who has left and should know better to fall for it again?
Yet you still try to convince yourself that the present person didn't put those scars there

Rule 7: Don't believe in miracles
What happens when you stop believing in angels and fairytales because you KNOW they are too good to be true?
And suddenly one hits you the second time around and you make you want to love angels again

When all rules are broken, all that the player is left with is his vulnerability

Ignorance VS Confrontation

2007-09-07T00:43:00.000-07:00

It's not based on gender but on the person...

Central of the Grand-ness

2007-08-31T00:52:00.000-07:00

Everything looks better behind my purple balloon

The venue:Thursday ladies night at Grand Central
The people:Ho's and lo's, bitches and hitches (A bunch of drunk people looking good and having a good time)

Yup, that's my experience at Grand Central second time round. First time definitely wasn't as fun as I was watching drag queens strutting their stuff for all their worth where you can see but to touch...it will cost you sumthin. This time round, seeing is believing, and baby you gotta believe it. Whatever you call it...chicks, babes, butches, drama queens, lesbians...man was it gay town to the extreme. And when I mean gay, I mean happy, ecstatic and downright outrageously fan-fucking-tastic!

Alright people, the lo' down for tonight. My ladies and I headed up to Grand Central (a gay bar but ladies night on Thursday) to have some fun and meet other friends plus some. Naturally, the environment and people there was to a certain extent, GAY!

Ma bitches

To sum it up, there was some *ahem* activities going on in the club involving alcohol, grinding and someone tall, sexy and possess a nice set of ermm....teeth? Until next time, my gorgeousnesssesssssssss..................there will certainly be a next time =)

Reality check

2007-08-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

Maybe you were the beautiful dream I conjured up to get over the horrible nightmare

But now I wake up and realize, I'm myself and here...alone

Dear otoosan,

2007-08-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry. I know I promised to see you...I failed.

One of the biggest disappointment I had during my Japan trip was not being able to pay my respects to my first host father. I know that I changed so many host families when I was there but otoosan was my first host father and I was certainly very fond of him. It's almost been half a year since he left and although more than 3 years since I last spoken to him, the pain of losing him hit me very hard. He was a wonderful father to me and spoiled me to death with sweets and presents. I understand that what you did was very biased and led to all the trouble but I'm sure at that time all you wanted was to make me feel at home by treating me like a real daughter.

I'm very angry at myself for not being more persistent trying to contact my host family (even after numerous phone calls to their home)...I admit, I was scared. I was scared to finally realize that you've gone, to see for myself that altar and to have other members of the family judge me. I know that I'm not your real daughter but for those months, you were all that I had...you were my family. At the same time, I was afraid that I would dissapoint my current host family by insisting on visiting you...I still remember the incident when all of us met and how humiliated both sides were. My selfishness can only get me that far...I'm sorry. I felt like I didn't do myself justice by stating it outright that I wanted to contact the family. Instead, I hid behind closed doors to call, knowing that no one would be around and not leaving a message but just hoping that maybe someone would pick up.I wandered the streets of Tokyo everyday thinking of calling and hoping to see you and be able to speak to you and give my respect. Yet fear and shame overcame me and here I am back in America with nothing but guilt and disappointment.

I hope you are doing well up there. I imagine you smoking and drinking your favorite green tea which you would meticulously whip up. Maybe you are enjoying our favorite Denny's breakfast set. Or the Baskin Robbins and anmitsu you would bring home to cheer me up. I have you to thank for my sweet tooth and weight gain. Maybe you have met my beloved ojiichan as well. If you have, maybe both of you can go fishing together.

I hope you continue looking after okaasan and the rest of the family from above. I'm sure okaasan is very sad to have lost you. It was my first time hearing her cry although I knew she was trying very hard to hold it in, just like a typical Japanese woman. What is it with you and your pride? Why didn't you let me know sooner?? I would have made the trip there to see you for the last time. All the time I thought that you have forgotten about me. I was lost in my selfishness without even being aware of how much you were suffering. Just because I changed families didn't mean that I loved you any less. You tried your best...it's just too bad that we didn't last as a family long enough. I'm sorry I didn't understand the severity of your situation, if I knew it would be the last time I would be able to hear your voice, I would have stayed on the line no matter how long you took. I wished you answered the phone when I called that day or at least return my call and not keep me up waiting the whole night..all I wanted to do was to hear your voice...maybe that was your way of punishing me for leaving in the first place. I never forgot your last words to me as you drove me to my new house that day..."Please come back".

I'm sorry that I'm angry at you...but I'm more angry at myself. I disappointed you once by leaving and this time I did it again by not coming back. Maybe next time I will have more courage...I will keep my promise and visit you someday. All I can say for now is...I'm sorry. I hope you will remember me otoosan. Maybe you will come into my dreams someday. Until then, I will keep the memories of the good times and bad times in my heart.

Making the most out of my time: Part 3 (Last days)

2007-08-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

A few other funny incidents happened after mummy left as well. One of them is missing my last train home. I met up with my dance club friends after sending mummy off and we went drinking. By 11.45 p.m, everyone had to leave to catch their train but Miya-san and I stayed behind and bought some beer from the convenience store and drank in front of the train station, just like old times. We talked and he told me about his dream to become a dance producer and changing the dance industry there. We lost track of time and ended up talking till 1 am when I suddenly asked him the time, only to rush to the station and the attendant telling us it’s closed. So Miya-san did the next best thing…he sent me home on his bicycle! Not only was this my first time staying out this late but it was also my first time being sent home on a bicycle. It was a fun but scary experience because Miya-san was a little drunk from all the alcohol. I got lost trying to get back to Hiraishi’s house (I don’t know why I manage to get lost every single time in the same place!) When we manage to get back to my place, I was worried if he would even manage to find his way back! Haha.

Nomikai(drinking gathering) with my old high school dancers

The next day, I called up Michi because she wasn’t at the gathering and I really wanted to meet her. She was working at a salon in Ikebukuro so I headed out to look for her. Not knowing the place, I was walking and calling at every phone booth. After an hour of searching and calling, we manage to meet up but leaving me hot and sweaty. I ended up having to go to her salon and having her give me my first manicure since she was suppose to be at work. The experience was fun as I discovered a new part of Ikebukuro.

I manage to meet up with Amane and Natsuko as well over the next few days and we dressed up to go to Shinjuku, Shibuya and the upscale Roppongi. Amane went shopping with me for a new purse and walking into every LV, Gucci, Fendi and other branded store was so fun! I didn’t want to buy it that day because I didn’t bring my passport along but just browsing was an experience as I wouldn’t usually walk into these stores.

Looking for a purikura machine

Roppongi

The view of Tokyo Tower from Roppongi

Bling bling outside LV

Tomo-yo

Kampai! A toast to us!

The next day, I went shopping alone in the morning before heading to my school for the last time to meet up with some other teachers. I’m now the proud owner of a new Burberry purse. Meeting up Takiguchi sensei, Seihata sensei, Minowa sensei and Kitty-chan sensei before leaving was a fun experience as well. I rushed back in the afternoon to take purikuras with Tomo at Ikebukuro and then to Mc’Ds to meet Nobuyo. We had our last dinner with friends and family and I made bak kut teh for everyone. Miya-san, Michi and Daisukei showed up and it was a wonderful dinner. Tomo and I stayed up to watch my latest drama addiction, “Ikemen Paradise” which literally translates to “Paradise of Handsome Men”! Haha. Even mummy manages to like this silly comedy even though she didn’t understand what they were saying. Oh well, Japanese comedies are easy to understand just by watching.

Koishikawa High

Takiguchi sensei and I

Minowa sensei: my sweets supplier. Arigatou sensei!

Hello Kitty sensei

Seihata sensei: Please remember me this way!
Silly faces

My trip back to US was tiring as I almost missed my flight…twice!!! Haha. Thank god I didn’t as I would lose it this time. I didn’t realize my departing gate from Narita airport was changed and I was waiting for a long time. On impulse I checked my ticket and realize I was waiting at the wrong place!!! I nearly freaked out but luckily my plane was delayed and the attendants and Narita were searching for the missing passengers. I manage to board and for the next 11 hours, it was pretty much static. Upon arrival, I had less than 2 hours to clear immigration and board the plane. As our plane arrived late, I was in a major rush and the line was moving so slowly. I kept hearing the Japanese lady next to me telling the attendants she was going to miss her flight and I was almost confident I would miss mine. Apart from the long wait, I didn’t have any problems clearing immigration and customs and I was dashing to catch my flight. I boarded breathless and relieved. Just as I thought all bad luck would end, I arrived at BWI not only missing a promised face but missing one piece of my luggage and as well. After settling all problems, Warren, Pei Chi, Dr. Joe and I had dinner at ONS. I began to feel the jet lag after 2 glasses of wine and fell on the bed as soon as I reached home and waking up at 2 am. My luggage arrived safely at 4.30 am and now I’m still up at 6 am typing these down. Summing everything up, this whole summer has been like a rollercoaster ride…filled with ups and downs at an incredible pace. This is certainly the best and most memorable summer of my life! I’m missing it already!!!!

Back to the US of A

-Saraba tomoyo mata kono basho de aou, Sakura mae chiru michi wo, ue de-
(Goodbye my friends, we shall meet again next time, on top of the front where the cherry blossom falls)

Sakura by Moriyama Naotarou

Still in my familiar place: Part 2 (Vacations and family time)

2007-08-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

Our first trip out Tokyo was with Mama, Tomo, mummy and I to Hiraishi’s second home in Izu to go to the hot spring and watch fireworks. The hot spring experience was very nice but it was embarrassing for mummy as this was her first time being naked in front of everyone else but after a while, she stopped thinking and really enjoyed herself although she was red from head to toe from staying in the hot water too long. We had sushi and sweets before the fireworks began and the fireworks were beautiful as ever and this time I didn’t fall asleep! Getting a taxi home wasn’t too easy and we ended up waiting for about an hour because it was so packed. Tomo and I drank when we reached home and Tomo, mummy and I chatted till late. The next day we rushed to catch the Shinkansen to Kyoto but some problems occurred on the way and we missed our train along with our first class tickets. We manage to meet up with Papa halfway and Papa argued with the attendant to get our money back and this continued when we reached Kyoto station. Papa won in the end and we got some money back. Banzai!!!

Kyoto and Nara was sooooooooooo hot!!! We were in Japan in the hottest week of the summer and being in Kyoto and Nara, it was even worse. But the trip was fun as it was filled with delicious food, beautiful scenery and fun and laughter. We stayed in the ryokan as well and mummy was very happy as it was her first time. Over dinner one evening, I was recalling an experience about a senior’s nickname and it cracked everyone up and everyone was surprised how hilarious mummy was. As usual Tomo and I did our share of baka stuff but this time, mummy joined in! From our pretend wedding in front of the chapel to posing in the ryokan, mummy was in a good mood without understanding much. Luckily Mama communicated with her in Chinese while Papa spoke to her in English. We visited so many temples in both Kyoto and Nara. In Nara, there were so many deers and I was so scared when they all came to me that I made a fool out of myself and screamed so loud until mummy had to hug me and keep comforting me while mama tried distracting them. I feel so foolish now.Haha. One of the deers stuck close to mummy and they made such a cute couple.

Fresh wasabi

To the onsen (hot spring)

2 dead fish after the refreshing onsen

The beautiful parade of fireworks

Summer home

Temple in ancient Kyoto

Spring water

Kaiseki ryori (Traditional Japanese dinner)

My family

The Golden Pavilion (Kyoto)

So many temples, so little time

A little bit of heaven in the hot weather

The gobo (burdock root) family

This is not how its done...

Let me show you mummy

Making a fool out myself

New best friends

Beautiful Ryokan (Japanese hotel)

Naka yoshi

One the other days when we were in Tokyo, mummy and I practically traveled the whole of Tokyo in a few days. The first day we went to Ikebukuro, Shinjuku, Shibuya and Harajuku and we spent another day in Asakusa and Ueno. We went food hunting around Tokyo and I took her for some of my favorite foods including ramen, yakiniku, shabu-shabu and gyudon. OH THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!! I also took her to meet Takeda family and Takeda-san Papa was funny and nice as ever. We also met Watanabe okaasan and Yuko where we had the best sushi in Tsukiji fish market. I had O-toro and it was fantastic!!! I manage to go to grandmother’s house for a while to pay my respect to grandfather, my beloved ojiichan who passed away about a year and a half after I left Tokyo. I also took mummy to Koishikawa High and we met up with my teacher to have lunch. I missed everyone so much and it was so nice to see everyone who took care of me. Tomo, mummy and I went to the Edo-Tokyo and sumo museum as well before mummy went home.

Living it large in Tokyo

Visiting Meiji-jingu temple (Our serenity in between chaos)

Asakusa

Sushi at Tsukiji Fish Market with Watanabes'. Oishii!

Fooling around at the sumo museum. Baka ne!

Last lunch with mummy. Fugu (blowfish) and shabu-shabu.

On the day, Papa and I saw mummy off at the airport and I was on my own for the next couple days. I felt a little sad and lonely as I watched mummy leave for I didn't know when was the next time I would see her. Spending time with mummy was amazing as I showed her the serene, the chaos, and wonderful colors Japan and Tokyo has to offer. I hope she had a great time and manage to experience Japan life in 10 days, what I took a year to do. I love you mummy!!

Making new memories in an old place: Part 1 (The arrival)

2007-08-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

Looking back, these past 3 months have given and taken so much out of me. Coming back to US, it just feels surreal to be here after all the excitement, fun times, drama and commotion from the past months. This has certainly been a wonderful experience and a memorable one. I feel like I’ve also grown up mentally and emotionally from having to deal with problems I faced but at the same time, the child in me is very much alive from being home with friends and family in KL and Tokyo.

My trip to Japan this time is even better this time than 4 years ago! Not only do I have my mum from KL to share it with this time, but being much older this time and meeting up old friends and family there brings a whole new meaning to me about being a part of the exchange student community. The saying, once an AFSer, always an AFSer has never meant more to me than now. Hearing my host father tell me that I’m the only student who has ever returned to their home was so touching and overwhelming. In a way, I felt like I never left Japan. Everything still feels so familiar and comfortable and I was surprised my Japanese was just as fluent if not better than before (or so everyone there claims). It all started at the airport where Mama came to pick me up. I manage to meet Diogo before his flight back to Brazil for summer. Maybe it’s fate that I miss my flight so that we can meet up at the airport where I arrive and he flies off. Over dinner, the whole family reunited and this time, I was part of the family and mummy played the part of the new host student.

My 37 hour journey to Japan has finally started...

Our 30 hour wait in Changi Airport

Having tea at the poolside in Changi

Diogo and I at Narita Airport

Memories revisited

2007-08-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm in Changi airport for the 3rd time in my life. If you ask me, it's 3 times too many. Although they are voted the number 1 airport in the world, they are not the top of my list. Not only for the past 3 times I've been here was because of my 6 hour transit, but coming here throws me into a whirlwind of emotions. Everytime I come here, I experience the same set of emotions but in different order. This time its sadness, excitement and dread. Bad combination if you ask me.

I'm going to visit Japan again. Another place I can call home. This time however, I have my mum with me so I'm still holding on to a little part of Malaysia and my family with me...at least for now. I miss KL tremendously...coming back home was really the right thing to do. Old memories were revisited, new ones made and present ones carried with me towards the future.

I'm excited to see my host family again as well as my friends and family there. Some of my best memories were made in Japan. I can't wait to turn into the same corners of those streets I spent ages hanging out, taste the same food and meet the same people.

Another phase in my life has ended...something new should begin. I'm learning to let go and let live. If something is not meant to be, there's no use forcing it. I'm still holding on to the memories but I will learn to move on. Thank you for the memories.

Leaving

2007-08-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

Time does fly by so fast! I'm leaving KL tomorrow after almost 2 months of pure lepaking and traveling around. I would like to thank my good friends for making my time here soooooooo memorable. I will miss all the mamak sessions, clubbing and drinking, holiday trips, spending moolah and just being there for me through good and bad times. Thanks Jon and Sim for rushing back to KL just to spend time with me before I leave and Pau and Ling for staying out so late. and the rest for just taking the time and effort to make my night so perfect And thank you for the flaming lambo! It was crazy!!! Thank you to all my other friends who I hung out with this vacation. I love ALL of you sooooooooooooooo muchie muchie!

This vacation has been pretty tiring with all the trips and excitement going on. Kinda makes me want to hold on to life here. But there are also obstacles and stuff that's waiting for me in US to handle. Hopefully everything will run smoothly. Sometimes I wish I was more independent and confident in things I have to do and obstacles I have to overcome. I hope my life does not fall apart when I return to the States. I hope I hope I hope....

Next stop is Japan. Gosh, I have to brush up my Japanese and culture!!! I can't wait to meet all my friends and family there as well. Hope this will be another vacation that's hard to forget.

I hope I don't cry at the airport tomorrow. Haha. More than that, I hope I don't cry when I get to US airport. Don't make me cry...*cross fingers*

Until next time, SAYONARA! Will be posting up pictures soon!

Numb

2007-08-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

Can't believe you almost forgot this feeling

When you feel the pain,

Just light it up and drink up biatch,
The best painkiller is here to stay,
Maybe that's all you need right now.

Trippin

2007-08-01T18:55:00.000-07:00

Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know lyrics

Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know lyrics

Busy bee

2007-07-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

I've been traveling quite a bit during the past few weeks. First it was a day trip to Malacca with Joyce, then to Redang with friends and then to Bangkok with my cousin. As my mum nicely sums it up, she says I'm a person with eight feet. But all the trips have been fun and tiring at the same time.

Malacca Trip

This is the first time I've been to Malacca in the last 10 years or more. The place has really changed since the last time I went there when I was a kid. Many tall buildings and malls have been built but at the same time, much of the historical tourist attraction still remains. We met up with XX and went taking pictures around the city. Joyce even brought her big ass professional camera for the occasion. The best part of Malacca has to be the FOOD!!! We had cendol and satay celup (TWICE! If Oscar is reading this I know he's gonna be so jealous)

A Famosa

Our hungry looks

Yummy cendol

The anticipation. Your mama lah!

This is how you eat satay celup

____________________________________________________________________

Redang Trip

The bus ride was sooooooooooooooooooo long!!!!! It took us 8 hours of torture to arrive there and I couldn't sleep much in the bus because it was so cold and uncomfortable. Upon checking into our hotel and after a couple hours of rest, we went snorkeling. At night we went to look for blue sand. Redang looks the same but at the same time different from the last time I was there which was about 2 and a half years ago. It's much dirtier and they have clubs now. This is my first time going clubbing in shorts and slippers without any care in the world. Being able to do that was fun and hilarious at the same time. It was an outdoor club and the music was good until they started with their Chinese la-la songs (lei lou tau sok K??OMG!) . We went snorkeling twice the following day and at night the gang buried me in sand! EWWWWW!!!! Pauling and I got sick the last night there so it was quite sucky. We went to the city of Terengganu to wait for our bus back so we walked around Chinatown. I was surprised there was a Chinatown and Chinese people living in Terengganu. Call me shallow but it's true! Overall it was a fun trip just being there with my friends and we manage to cam whore quite a lot. Here are some pictures from the not so beautiful Redang.

On the way there!!!

Group pic!
Out to sea

Our tour guide to the sea Xiao Hei
Sudah mabuk?

This is the life...

The gang: "Let's make SY pretty!!" (WTF!)

F4 with the beautiful scenery

_____________________________________________________________________

Thailand Trip

After months of 'planning' and anticipation, our Thailand trip was finally here. It was my chance to travel with my cousin Mik Yin and also meet my best friend Nuk during my AFS student exchange program in Japan. This reunion was sweet because we haven't met in almost 4 years. She's still as sweet and cute as before (only much too thin) and we stayed with her for two nights while she showed us around Bangkok. I met up with my friend Ike after that and we stayed with him for the remaining time. He also took us to see the ancient city Ayutthaya. It was a fun and tiring trip. I manage to shop a lot as well as eat a lot of spicy food and visit beautiful temples, all in the short span of 4 days. I also met up with some of my friends I got to know in US and overall it was a memorable trip. Here are some pictures from our trip to Bangkok. Sawadeeka!

The floating market

Me and Nuk! Zutto tomodachi! (Forever friends)

Nuk and Mik Yin posing at the Emerald Buddha Temple

At the temple

Ultra spicy Tom Yum Kung

Leaning Buddha

A temple at the ancient city

P (Big brother) Ike and I

Another flaming hot soup

Shoppaholic anonymous: Mik Yin and I at one of our many shopping expeditions

Shh!!! Don't tell our mummies

Going home broke but happy

There's no place like home

____________________________________________________________________

Next stop....Ipoh and Penang! Wohoo!!!

Losing

2007-07-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'm losing it.
Or maybe I've lost it.

What's your Japanese subculture?

2007-07-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

You Are a Kogyaru!

If it's cute, you'll wear it. Fake and bake, hair bleach, and bright makeup line your bathroom cabinet.
As for clothes - anything that's short and cute ("kawaii!").
You are the prize object of all sorts of men - but you are really looking for a rich foreign guy.
He'll find you out hanging out in Shibuya shopping at the 109, text messaging and sending photos over your cellphone.

Those who know me know that I'm a die hard fan of Japanese culture and lifestyle and that I have lived in Tokyo for a year.Out of curiosity, I took this test and the results say that I'm a Kogyaru (gyaru for short). To me this is an insult and definitely NOT true because for one, I dislike gyaru fashion and just because I enjoy hanging out in Shibuya, wearing schoolgirl outfits (not anymore) and would love to go to Hawaii,that doesn't make me a gyaru!F urthermore look what they label gyaru as! It's also insulting because in my opinion, gyaru is similar to La-la in KL!So below are reasons and pictures of why I'm anti-gyaru!

Reasons why I'm not a gyaru

I don't wear Hawaiian prints
I don't deliberately date rich foreign guys
I don't wear white make up
I don't have fake curly blond hair
I don't have a fake tan (mine is the real thing, sunburn and all)
I don't speak in a high accented Japanese tone
I don't use pink Dior bags

Picture taken a few years back in Japan (NOT gyaru)

Still not gyaru. Perhaps Pau Pau should take the test and see...there is potential *winks*.

Oh, I finally got my visa to Japan last week.In another couple of weeks I will be back to the land of the rising sun.BANZAI!

End of the road

2007-07-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

Episode 3: G's Bday and Zouk

Our 3^rd night has finally come and gone. And man was it a tiring 3 nights. I finally realized that I’m really too old for hard core clubbing anymore. It’s fun the first night and maybe even the second, but hit the third and you seriously question your age and what you would trade to spend a quiet day home or chilling out than out braving the endless stream of rejecting ugly desperate people, taking care of drunk friends, making sure people get home safely and avoiding the cops.

G's bday was nice even though it was rushed. All of us felt bad to leave so early especially since we are pretty close friends. But I'm sure Jon will make it up to u G! Enjoy being 21 after you get back to the States ok. Come to Maryland sometime or I will drop by your place and we can tani! We rushed back to Jon's house to change and get ready after G's bday for Zouk and boy was it hectic! Estrogen overload.

Word up, Ling and Pauline came out with us to Zouk and we had a great time cam whoring, drinking and dancing! Can’t believe we took THAT many pictures! At 1am, both of them had to leave. I wanted to leave with them but Datin Seri Paduka insisted I stay because she was drunk and wasn’t sure if she could drive (I know that was just a lame excuse to get me to stay Jas!) so I got my bag and turn to watch Jon and the rest of them leave to the comfort of their beds. The night passed slowly after they left because I just sat in Zouk waiting for everyone to finish clubbing and since I still wasn’t feeling well and wanted to take care of others, I was trying my best to avoid alcohol. Jas came into Zouk drunk and wild again. Keeping up with her was a wild goose chase and it was fun to see how hyper and animated she gets when she’s drunk! When it was time to leave, there were road blocks all around so we ended up in Jln. Alor indulging on some midnight snacks along with Mike, Sue Ann and Serena. And all the while, Jas was driving. I salute you Datin! This one is a tanker people!

On the way home, we thought we were being followed by strangers because they drove very near us so Jas sped through the roads but we were still closely tailgated. We started to get nervous because of the bad safety conditions in KL and we couldn’t see the number plate or driver of the car so I was asking Jas to speed home or to the nearest police station. Turns out it was Mike STALKING us!!!!! Haha. Thanks a lot bro! There’s the conclusion to another fun filled night. Here are some pictures taken that night. If picture can speak a thousand words, foreign languages will be needed for the amount of cam whoring we do!

The original pimp daddy

Happy 21st!

A retard, a poser and a drunk

Poser giler babiz

'Chicks' with bodyguard

After a long night of partying

Middle of Nowhere

2007-07-12T04:16:00.000-07:00

Episode 2: Cynna Bar
I decided to head down to Cynna bar with Mich and gang although I was still feeling a little sick from the night before due to the over consumption of alcohol and lack of exercise (dancing). Lee’s friends and an old clubbing kaki Rustam came along too. I made Michelle promise to not make me drink this time and she did keep to her promise (except for that one glass she made me down at the end of the night). Although the music was not my type, it was still considerably a decent night. We had to leave around 2 because there was a rumor about a raid so Jon, Jas, Po and I went to Jln Alor for supper and when we went back to the place so that Jon can get his car (he finally sobered up and was almost falling asleep on the table during supper), there wasn’t any raid! So much to the end of another night….

Glamourous pictures from the night!!!

The beginning of a triology

2007-07-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

Episode 1: Laundry and Maison
The first part of our 3 day clubbing began in Maison. Although I like the interior and design of the place, the crowd and smoke was too much for me. We couldn't dance and I spent half the night drinking in a little hole at the corner of the room. Naturally I got wasted that night and was throwing up in the bathroom. Jon told me I kept going to the guys bathroom because I didn't know there was any difference (it was separated by a screen) but that was the only wild thing I did that night. My lovely friend cum second wife Jas is back and wild wild wild!Party party party babe!!!! Apart from being drunk, the night would have ended even better if it wasn't for some drama show some people were putting on. All the screaming, crying and stupid shit people do for love or attention We also went to Laundry the night before so I will post the photos from that too! But thanks to Jas, Jon, Mich, Lee, Sim, Mike, Whey Lu and the rest for making such a great time possible! I love you guys! No drama next time k!

Laundry

Top: Me and Lee
Bottom: Jon, Sim, Jas

Michelle syiok sendiri

Maison

The emo side

2007-07-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

A single tear falls down my cheek as I think of you
The lonely nights, the pain of waiting
Nothing to do but wait for the days to pass
Hoping to see you once again

Thank you for the memories you have given me to hold onto
Gives me the strength and courage to yearn for more
But for now I will feel your presence in my heart
And falling asleep to see you in my dreams.

Back from the dead

2007-07-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

Yay!!!My internet is finally fixed!!!!Back to my internet whoring activities.Updates on what I've been up to pre-internet time.I've managed to do some of the stuff like eating and shopping while I'm back. The horrendous amount of food stuffed into my mouth when I first got back (combined with the stress buildup from last semester) resulted in a stomach ulcer which put me in pain for a week or so when I ate. This made me so upset because I could look at my favorite food but not eat it. But I'm currently on medication so I have gotten my appetite back big time. Makan time anytime! I still have to eat a lot more before leaving. Gonna slave in the gym once I get back to MD.

I went to settle my visa to go to Japan this morning. I can't believe the lack of customer service the people working there have. Don't call me ethnocentric or "bagai kacang lupakan kulit"...I love Malaysia but shit like that makes me feel like I never want to stay or work here. I really think they should learn how to treat customers better. The foreigners working at the embassy treat our Malaysians better than our fellow Malaysians. When I went to the counter this morning, this Malay dude was busy reading his newspaper and didn't even look up when I greeted him. He finally did after a while and started doing his job. I needed proof of airline so I brought my original ticket along but they wanted a copy and instead of helping me photocopy it with their big ass machine right behind him, he asked me to fax it to them before 12pm the same day (assuming that I have nothing better to do). I asked the guy at the counter if all the documents were in place and he answered "We will call you if you are missing anything". Was that suppose to answer my question??

Anyway, I went with my dad to the office to fax whatever they need and more (according to my dad we should send as much as possible just to make sure its idiot-proof) and to make sure they got it, I called. They told me they didn't get it and asked me to refax it. Fine, I did. I came home and just got off the phone with them and they told me they didn't get it this time either. I actually asked them if they turned their fax machine on and the lady working there told me "MAYBE it's in our memory or MAYBE the fax machine don't have paper". WTF! Stress!!!!

Oh well, at least Japan will be worth it. Can't wait!!!!! We shall see how much weight a person can put on in 3 months. I hope the person picking me up at the airport can recognize me and not throw me out when I get in the car =)

Lost Without You

2007-06-26T02:39:00.001-07:00

I feel so lost...something that I've gotten so used to and devoted to has been torn away from my life making me feel so vulnerable and useless.Yes I'm talking about my INTERNET connection.I came home only to find out that my modem has crashed and I can't go online.Thank god for the next best thing, hotspot in Starbucks.So now I'm sitting at Starbucks with my Java Chip Frap and checking emails, doing bank transactions and of cos updating my blogs and facebook/Friendster. I realized that I've gotten so addicted to going online and being unable to do that is so uncomfortable not to mention that it makes me nervous to think that I might have forgotten to pay my bills or not able to check an important email.

As well as any internet whore knows, obviously those are just excuses for my addiction. My bills are paid in advance and who would possibly send me such an important email? I just need the comfort of being online and able to msn with my friends talking about nonsensical stuff. I need to fix my internet!!!!

The whirlwind of emotions

2007-06-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

Wow...I'm really going 'home' tomorrow.It's been a year and a half since I hugged my family and friends back home.I'm so excited to see them!!!!Spending precious moments with them is something I've been looking forward to for a long time.Long talks,walking on the beach,staying out all night,and just being next to those I care about.Happy happy happy!

But I'm wondering if this is what I really want right now.There's something I'm leaving behind to go back and see my family and friends.I keep telling myself it's just 3 months and that going 'home 'is what I've been wanting for so long.But actually,I'm more nervous to go home than to stay back.My insecurity takes over and I'm overwhelmed by what my family and friends back in Malaysia will think of me,how will I adapt back to the environment back home and how will I go on for 3 months missing precious people in US.For a long time now,I've been able to call this place my home.How many homes can one person have?Where do I really belong?Where do I really want to belong?I guess this is the sad part of leaving.I hope I don't have to sacrifice this happiness I've found here to go back home.

I'm praying to God this will work.Finally,effort from my side....and this time its REAL!Because I think I've found something real to believe in.Is this love??

Just perfect

2007-06-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back from all the travelling.With all the moving around and busy schedule, haven't really manage to sit down and blog.The past week has flown by so fast I can't even comprehend it.So many things have happened during my trip to Boston and after I came back to Bmore.I think I found myself and someone else in the midst of all the drama and chaos.The old me is finally back.

The last couple of months has been a nightmare with so much drama and complications in my life.But I've finally manage to pull myself out of my misery and old friends as well as new people I met in life has given me a renewed sense of happiness that I've been missing so much lately.In many ways,this past few months has taught me a lot about life and how much we should appreciate the people around us.Thank you to those who have stood by me throughout my trials and tribulations and to my new source of happiness.

Although I'm excited to finally go home and see my friends and family,I'm also a little sad to part from my life here.From just looking forward to going home,now I'm having mixed feelings.I know 3 months is not a long time but if you are waiting for someone,the distance will take a toll on you emotionally.It's funny how God plays tricks on people but I guess its just a test.If people from two different worlds can find each other under such weird circumstances then I guess I will just leave the rest to fate.If it's meant to be then it will eventually work out.

Alright my peeps back there,I'm coming home!!!!Get ready!!!!

The great reunion

2007-05-31T22:42:00.000-07:00

I finally manage to meet up with my darling wife Tiffany!!!It's been too long!Hanging out with her in New York City was da bomb!In the city where shopping,good food,parties and celebrities never stops,what more could you ask for when you have your darling to share it with?Being so bad with directions and everything,I manage to keep getting us lost in the city,wandering around aimlessly and just sitting and talking for an hour in the subway...and all the time she just stood by me.I wonder where I will find other people who would go through that with me?I love you long time honey!!!

The trip to NYC has also been pretty enlightening in many ways.Being exposed to people that I normally wouldn't and going to places that I otherwise wouldn't has really shown me another side of the city that I have never seen before when I'm there with my other friends.But in the end,I realize no matter how much I love the city,I don't belong there.Life there is too complicated if you really wanna make a name for yourself.With so much going on, its easy to lose yourself in the city and a friend told me that you have to really be very very strong and clear of your goals so that you don't lose yourself in all the glitz and glamour.Although I'm majoring in PR,I understood that if I were to live there,I would eventually lose myself.Hell,I've been losing myself since coming to US!But my friend also said that life is all about losing yourself and then finding yourself again.What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Which brings me to another story....Desmond called me one afternoon crying because he was in the hospital with no recollection of how he ended up there.This shocked me to the bone because he was worried he was attacked.So in the end,my friend drove me up 2 hours after his work to Philly just to pick Desmond up to bring him back to my place which is another 2 hours.Another friend took the time to drive us around for food and shopping the next couple of days.This made me realize how lucky I was to have such friends who would do things like that for me.If it weren't for them, I would have risk taking a bus to see Desmond myself and maybe getting lost in Philly.Thanks!You guys are the best!Thankfully Dessie was much better and with the help of good food,ciggies and great company, both of us manage to have a fantastic weekend.

Well now I'm in Boston with my wifey and we shall see what's in store for me in Boston.Hopefully I learn and see new things over the next few days and enjoy myself to the fullest.It's gonna be a great start to my summer holidays!!!!

Shopping Therapy/Frenzy?

2007-05-20T01:29:00.000-07:00

Someone please take my credit cards away from me!I will be so deep in debt even before I leave for Malaysia that I will have to just sit at home and rot for the next couple months doing nothing!I can't believe I've been spending so much money these days shopping online.And that doesn't even include the trip to the malls and eating out and clubbing/drinking.ARGH!Let's see what I've bought so far and you tell me if I'm overspending or not.

List of stuff bought online over the span of 2 weeks:
3 pairs of shoes (flats, heels and sport shoes)
4 Victoria Secret bras
4 pairs of VS underwear (for my friends so this shouldn't count as self-indulgence)
1 bikini top
My nice smelling VS lotion (I can't believe they are not gonna have it anymore!wuwuwu)
1 pair of formal shirt
1 pair of khakis

I should hate Victoria Secret for making me spend so much just to get more savings.Spend above $150 and save $30 bucks!Sounds like a good deal right?But they obviously don't tell you that your total amount has to be more than $150 bucks after the discount which means you really have to spend a minimum of $180!Convert it into RM and hm...I've just spent almost RM525 on bras and underwear and a bunch of rubbish alone.Add another RM500 or so on shoes and...OMFG!Suddenly those lingerie don't look too attractive anymore. Anyone willing to take care of me when I go home?*wink wink*

I should also hate Visa for constantly extending my credit!Buy Buy Buy seems to be my motto the last few weeks.Maybe its my form of therapy instead of paying for a psychiatrist (buy bras instead and try to boost my cleavage to feel better?).Earn extra 70 bucks, spend extra 300 bucks.Almost a month rent there....gosh...I can't afford my own lifestyle!HELP ME!!!!

They say never try to convert stuff while you're overseas otherwise the amount would be exaggerated.I try not to most of the times but sometimes I do just to make myself feel guilty for spending so much while my parents work their ass off paying for my education and cost of living (which I end up spending on these crazy shopping sprees).

Lesson of the day: Spend within your own means.Unless of course you wanna be slaving for the rest of your life to pay that damn bill from VISA while they happily upgrade you every few months.

I wanna be an angel too
Look at her and tell me it's all worth it...

Dumb and Dumber

2007-05-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yup that is so me!It is so ironic that the more you study something, the more you tend to take it for granted and forget it when you need it.That's what happened to me during my management finals today.Taking it for granted for being a mass comm major and marketing cert, I totally ignored the Maslow's Chart.Not only did I think it wouldn't come out but I took for granted that my brain would function well and remember all the stages since I see it every single semester so I didn't even bother reviewing it.BAD IDEA!My mind went blank as I tried to force myself to remember.In the end,obviously I screwed it up and ended up putting the wrong stuff.Haha.A tip to those out there,don't try to recall things you learned ages ago during high levels of stress and tiredness.Your brain just won't work,unless of course you are blessed with photographic memory.Makes you feel stupid at the end of the day why you pay so much and waste so much time to have an education when you throw out everything you've learned at the end of every semester and seeing it again the next semester and throwing it out again and etc.Well I guess I will see that chart pop out somewhere again next semester so let me put it up here as a harsh reminder never to overestimate my ability to recall stuff...

Final destination

2007-05-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

6.55a.m: Just finish revising my stuff for the next 2 final papers.It's surprising how I manage to let myself slack off so much till the last minute to study.I've been awfully distracted by stuff around me but that's not suppose to be an excuse to put off studying till the last minute*shame on me*.Let's hope I don't leave whatever I've managed to memorize at the door when I enter at 8a.m.I don't understand why people have exams at 8a.m!Can't believe I have 3 finals today!!!Oh well, better to get it done faster than wait around.The more you study the more you tend to forget what you have remembered in the first place anyway.The day has just begun and I'm already looking forward to it ending....I can imagine my ragged look by the end of today.Let's hope I don't scare everyone at my interview tomorrow (which I haven't prepared for!)...Haha my friend online is already asking me to go to Perhentian.Now how will I be able to concentrate on what FCF and NPV's are when all I can think of is the warm sun,white sand,beautiful beaches and bikini's all around?The smell on suntan lotion is addictive*starts dreaming*ARRGGHHHH!!!!Why am I writing all these anyway when I should be panicking and doing my last minute studies?*shame shame on me again*.Alrightey...that's all from me.Wish me luck!

The Sadistic Clown

2007-05-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

Come love me and see the pain you've been missing!

The bright lights, the colorful scene

Everyone waiting for the show to begin

Steps out a clown with an inexplicable grin

The audience cheers as the journey begins

Mind games and cruelty all part of the act

Everyone’s masochistic side the clown tries to hack

They become addicted to the pain like they’re high on crack

Only a little girl hiding behind the crowd realizes this fact

Makeup and costume on, the clown seems to glow

Seems like no one can break his flow

Yet as the little girl turn away from his act he feels a hard blow

He realizes she sees through the fake act and really knows

The final act ends as the crowd goes applauding

The clown takes his bow and his face stuck smiling

Yet as he turns away a drop of tear starts falling

The little girl saw the scene and starts wondering

She can’t understand why this cruel clown that she is seeing

Can feel so much emotion for one small soul that’s just in hiding

Yet strip off the makeup and clothes that’s suffocating

You realize he is after all a human being

Baboon and her animal friends

2007-05-10T22:37:00.000-07:00

I still remember when I was back in KL that many of us in our gang had nicknames in the form of animals.I don't know the reason why we had those names but maybe because it's suppose to represent our alter ego (or maybe its just because we seem like a bunch of jungle animals most of the time).Some of the nicknames were created out of thin air while others (such as mine) was more obvious.So this post is to remind my lovely animal friends that I miss them and love them long long time.If I missed anyone,let me know.In the mean time,let me put those I remember....And guys, tell me if you can see the resemblance of our "animal side".

The Cow

The Giraffe

The Doggie

The Cicak (Lizard)

The Mermaid

The Hippo

Abu The Monkey

The Donkey

The Baboon

Utopia

2007-05-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

If only everything was this perfect

Definition: An ideal place or state (Dictionary.com)

---------------My utopia----------------------
Thou shall be kind and be treated kindly
Thou shall not judge and be judged upon
Thou shall not curse and be cursed upon
Thou shall trust and be trusted
Thou shall share happiness and be happy
Thou shall honor and be honored
Thou shall cherish and be cherished
Thou shall spread hope and be hopeful
Thou shall want and be wanted
Thou shall create miracles and be a miracle
Thou shall spread wisdom and be wise
Thou shall love and be loved
Thou shall not hurt and be hurt

But the truth always hits you in the face or in other words,
REALITY: the state or quality of being real (Dictionary.com)
Survival of the fittest will always tell you-Thou shall kill or be killed.
Harsh as reality may sound,thats the fact of life.
So in the end,I face reality but all the while dreaming for my utopia.

Porn For Women

2007-05-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

Haha.Grabbed your attention,didn't I?Bet you thought I would put nude pictures up when u read the title right.WRONG!This is actually the title of a book by Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative I saw on People's Magazine recently while working out at the gym.Ever wonder what turns a woman on?Ever at a loss for words or don't know what to tell your loved one after the typical "You are beautiful" gets old?Let me give you a synopsis of this book that I found online:

"Prepare to enter a fantasy world. A world where clothes get folded just so, delicious dinners await, and flatulence is just not that funny. Give the fairer sex what they really want beautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: I love a clean house or As long as I have two legs to walk on, you'll never take out the trash. Now this is porn that will leave women begging for more!"

So for all you guys out there,take note.The next time you want to turn a woman on with those overused one liners,think again.Pick up a copy of this book and u may actually learn a thing or two about how to please a woman's ears.Reading the synopsis,I think I might actually want to purchase this book and find out more (of cos on my own).After all,isn't porn something you prefer indulging alone?

Another great option is to watch the old 8tv's reality TV show "What Women Want" hosted by Hannah T.I've just started watching it on YouTube and believe me, it is both entertaining and enlightening,even for me because now I know "WHAT WOMEN WANT".

Waiting to return

2007-05-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

Finals are almost near and that signals the end of the semester once again!wohoo!this time its really my time to celebrate by going home.havent breathe Malaysian air for the past one and a half years.I'm so homesick now (starring at my flight ticket) and I'm just counting days till I land and start my endless rounds of yum cha sessions,clubbing sessions,karaoke sessions and not forgetting SHOPPING and CAM WHORING sessions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm already making a mental list of what I have to do when I land.Here is my current list:

Friends and family time
Yum cha and food marathons
Cheap movies (anyone up for gold class?)
Shop till I drop in KL and Bangkok
Visit gramps
Get a tattoo
Hook up with old friends
Buy shoes
Eat more
Go to the gym
Watch my chinese dramas on Astro
Stuff myself as much as I can
Buy clothes
Buy buy buy buy buy
Hug my friends everytime I see them
Drinking and clubbing
Get drunk
Visit the beach
Watch the sunrise and sunset

Any suggestions?

I miss

2007-05-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

I miss your eyes, I miss your smile,

I miss the way you make me laugh

I miss your smell, I miss your voice

I miss the sparkle shining in your eyes

I miss your hands, I miss your face,

I miss the gentle soul behind your mask

I miss your warmth, I miss your hugs,

I miss the comfort of having you close at heart

I miss the talks, I miss the tears

I miss the way you chase away my fears

I miss the sun, I miss the fun,

I miss the endless hours that we shared

I miss our thoughts, I miss our dreams

I miss the bright light that hope beams

I miss the humor, I miss the jokes,

I miss you putting up with my silliness

I miss your tease, I miss your please

I miss the secrets that we have

I miss forever, I miss together,

I miss the promises we made each other

I miss the waves, I miss the stars,

I miss the special spot we use to share

I miss the flowers, I miss the wind,

I miss the old me I left behind

I miss our joy, I miss our memories,

But most of all I miss not wanting to miss you anymore

Pelajar cemerlang???

2007-05-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

Emcee:"Sin Yee is definitely an ideal student.She always sits in front of the class and paid close attention (blah blah blah)...She is definitely an A student".
Me:(thinking to myself) haha.wtf. I get an award for sitting in front of the class and falling asleep with my eyes open?Oh well....*grins and accepts the award*
Just so you guys know,Ling and I were awarded with some academic excellence award.We are pelajar cemerlang of Towson University 2007.fuiyoh...konon glamour.Just a way to cheat our friends and family into paying $25usd for a disgusting dinner in 'our' honor where the ambience matched the disgusting food they served.And I wasn't the only one who thought this was a rip-off.At least we got something out of it.Free dinner for us and a piece of wood and a piece of cardboard in 'our' honor.Hope this will make mummy proud.haha.But thanks for coming guys!Love you long time!We went to XS to 'celebrate' and relax after the event.Here are some photos from the whole night....

Got a light?

Ling and I at XS

Posing in the car

Pelajar cemerlang 2007.haha.

I read today that my university will try to ban smoking by next year.although they say almost 70% of the students don't smoke,30% is still a big number especially when those students are concentrated in a few buildings (business & mass comm&emf).Guess the 'aroma' of second hand smoke and the ever present load of ciggie butts is too much for some people to handle.There was this girl who said she can bring her dogs for walks when the ban is established and not worry her dog will be sick.Wth,I think I know more people who are allergic to pets than second hand smoke!

Oh well...at least I'm graduating end of the year.Glad I don't have to bring my huffing puffing ass 3 blocks away just to puff some more.Cheerios!

You and Me

2007-05-07T19:28:00.000-07:00

You said hello

I said goodbye

You searched for a smile

I gave you a frown

You said let’s talk and work things out

I said forget it and it’s just not worth it

You said I’ve changed and am not the same

I say I’ve lost that person that you once knew

You look at me with such disappointment

I secretly smile inside knowing that I’ve hurt us both

You search for that sign of hope

I crush it with a smirk and look of disgust

You turn away from me

I keep more distance from you

You believe that it’s just a phase

I kill all your hopes that it’s temporary

You ask me why

I ignore and pretend nothing is wrong

You ask me how

I shrug and say I have no answer

You can’t help but contradict

I can’t see the need to contemplate

You finally decide to let it go

Just so you know, I’ve given up a long time ago

You don’t know what the past has done

I don’t know what the future will bring

We know it won’t work yet we still hold on

We just wonder what kind of relationship this will bring

My first posting!

2007-05-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

Wow,
This is my first time ever blogging.I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would see myself blogging because I always thought it was a waste of time and stuff that you put in your blog is always filtered because you never want people to know how you really feel or think.I guess I finally decided to blog after reading so many honest blogs done by my friends and I guess its also a way to put my feelings into words.Being someone who don't like revealing too much about my emotions because (gasp) I'm worried of how others may react, this is something really new for me. Although someone once told me that he thinks I'm a good writer (I thought it was total bs!) but let's see how far this blog can bring me to open my feelings up to others as well as myself. So for my first entry I will give a little introduction instead.I chose the title 'denki' ( 伝記--this is the kanji for it) because it means 'life story' in Japanese which is basically what my blog is gonna be.My life story from now on...also an opportunity to give my friends back home a little insight on how my so called bimbo life has been progressing and if my bimboness has doubled or tripled overtime.But be prepared for the endless bitching sessions and postings that will be coming your way!I'm known for being dramatic and being able to go on and on forever.
Cheers!!!!