Lost Without You

I feel so lost...something that I've gotten so used to and devoted to has been torn away from my life making me feel so vulnerable and useless.Yes I'm talking about my INTERNET connection.I came home only to find out that my modem has crashed and I can't go online.Thank god for the next best thing, hotspot in Starbucks.So now I'm sitting at Starbucks with my Java Chip Frap and checking emails, doing bank transactions and of cos updating my blogs and facebook/Friendster. I realized that I've gotten so addicted to going online and being unable to do that is so uncomfortable not to mention that it makes me nervous to think that I might have forgotten to pay my bills or not able to check an important email.

As well as any internet whore knows, obviously those are just excuses for my addiction. My bills are paid in advance and who would possibly send me such an important email? I just need the comfort of being online and able to msn with my friends talking about nonsensical stuff. I need to fix my internet!!!!

The whirlwind of emotions

Wow...I'm really going 'home' tomorrow.It's been a year and a half since I hugged my family and friends back home.I'm so excited to see them!!!!Spending precious moments with them is something I've been looking forward to for a long time.Long talks,walking on the beach,staying out all night,and just being next to those I care about.Happy happy happy!

But I'm wondering if this is what I really want right now.There's something I'm leaving behind to go back and see my family and friends.I keep telling myself it's just 3 months and that going 'home 'is what I've been wanting for so long.But actually,I'm more nervous to go home than to stay back.My insecurity takes over and I'm overwhelmed by what my family and friends back in Malaysia will think of me,how will I adapt back to the environment back home and how will I go on for 3 months missing precious people in US.For a long time now,I've been able to call this place my home.How many homes can one person have?Where do I really belong?Where do I really want to belong?I guess this is the sad part of leaving.I hope I don't have to sacrifice this happiness I've found here to go back home.

I'm praying to God this will work.Finally,effort from my side....and this time its REAL!Because I think I've found something real to believe in.Is this love??

Just perfect

I'm finally back from all the travelling.With all the moving around and busy schedule, haven't really manage to sit down and blog.The past week has flown by so fast I can't even comprehend it.So many things have happened during my trip to Boston and after I came back to Bmore.I think I found myself and someone else in the midst of all the drama and chaos.The old me is finally back.

The last couple of months has been a nightmare with so much drama and complications in my life.But I've finally manage to pull myself out of my misery and old friends as well as new people I met in life has given me a renewed sense of happiness that I've been missing so much lately.In many ways,this past few months has taught me a lot about life and how much we should appreciate the people around us.Thank you to those who have stood by me throughout my trials and tribulations and to my new source of happiness.

Although I'm excited to finally go home and see my friends and family,I'm also a little sad to part from my life here.From just looking forward to going home,now I'm having mixed feelings.I know 3 months is not a long time but if you are waiting for someone,the distance will take a toll on you emotionally.It's funny how God plays tricks on people but I guess its just a test.If people from two different worlds can find each other under such weird circumstances then I guess I will just leave the rest to fate.If it's meant to be then it will eventually work out.

Alright my peeps back there,I'm coming home!!!!Get ready!!!!