Central of the Grand-ness

Everything looks better behind my purple balloon

The venue:Thursday ladies night at Grand Central
The people:Ho's and lo's, bitches and hitches (A bunch of drunk people looking good and having a good time)

Yup, that's my experience at Grand Central second time round. First time definitely wasn't as fun as I was watching drag queens strutting their stuff for all their worth where you can see but to touch...it will cost you sumthin. This time round, seeing is believing, and baby you gotta believe it. Whatever you call it...chicks, babes, butches, drama queens, lesbians...man was it gay town to the extreme. And when I mean gay, I mean happy, ecstatic and downright outrageously fan-fucking-tastic!

Alright people, the lo' down for tonight. My ladies and I headed up to Grand Central (a gay bar but ladies night on Thursday) to have some fun and meet other friends plus some. Naturally, the environment and people there was to a certain extent, GAY!

Ma bitches

To sum it up, there was some *ahem* activities going on in the club involving alcohol, grinding and someone tall, sexy and possess a nice set of ermm....teeth? Until next time, my gorgeousnesssesssssssss..................there will certainly be a next time =)

Reality check

Maybe you were the beautiful dream I conjured up to get over the horrible nightmare

But now I wake up and realize, I'm myself and here...alone

Dear otoosan,

I'm sorry. I know I promised to see you...I failed.

One of the biggest disappointment I had during my Japan trip was not being able to pay my respects to my first host father. I know that I changed so many host families when I was there but otoosan was my first host father and I was certainly very fond of him. It's almost been half a year since he left and although more than 3 years since I last spoken to him, the pain of losing him hit me very hard. He was a wonderful father to me and spoiled me to death with sweets and presents. I understand that what you did was very biased and led to all the trouble but I'm sure at that time all you wanted was to make me feel at home by treating me like a real daughter.

I'm very angry at myself for not being more persistent trying to contact my host family (even after numerous phone calls to their home)...I admit, I was scared. I was scared to finally realize that you've gone, to see for myself that altar and to have other members of the family judge me. I know that I'm not your real daughter but for those months, you were all that I had...you were my family. At the same time, I was afraid that I would dissapoint my current host family by insisting on visiting you...I still remember the incident when all of us met and how humiliated both sides were. My selfishness can only get me that far...I'm sorry. I felt like I didn't do myself justice by stating it outright that I wanted to contact the family. Instead, I hid behind closed doors to call, knowing that no one would be around and not leaving a message but just hoping that maybe someone would pick up.I wandered the streets of Tokyo everyday thinking of calling and hoping to see you and be able to speak to you and give my respect. Yet fear and shame overcame me and here I am back in America with nothing but guilt and disappointment.

I hope you are doing well up there. I imagine you smoking and drinking your favorite green tea which you would meticulously whip up. Maybe you are enjoying our favorite Denny's breakfast set. Or the Baskin Robbins and anmitsu you would bring home to cheer me up. I have you to thank for my sweet tooth and weight gain. Maybe you have met my beloved ojiichan as well. If you have, maybe both of you can go fishing together.

I hope you continue looking after okaasan and the rest of the family from above. I'm sure okaasan is very sad to have lost you. It was my first time hearing her cry although I knew she was trying very hard to hold it in, just like a typical Japanese woman. What is it with you and your pride? Why didn't you let me know sooner?? I would have made the trip there to see you for the last time. All the time I thought that you have forgotten about me. I was lost in my selfishness without even being aware of how much you were suffering. Just because I changed families didn't mean that I loved you any less. You tried your best...it's just too bad that we didn't last as a family long enough. I'm sorry I didn't understand the severity of your situation, if I knew it would be the last time I would be able to hear your voice, I would have stayed on the line no matter how long you took. I wished you answered the phone when I called that day or at least return my call and not keep me up waiting the whole night..all I wanted to do was to hear your voice...maybe that was your way of punishing me for leaving in the first place. I never forgot your last words to me as you drove me to my new house that day..."Please come back".

I'm sorry that I'm angry at you...but I'm more angry at myself. I disappointed you once by leaving and this time I did it again by not coming back. Maybe next time I will have more courage...I will keep my promise and visit you someday. All I can say for now is...I'm sorry. I hope you will remember me otoosan. Maybe you will come into my dreams someday. Until then, I will keep the memories of the good times and bad times in my heart.

Making the most out of my time: Part 3 (Last days)

A few other funny incidents happened after mummy left as well. One of them is missing my last train home. I met up with my dance club friends after sending mummy off and we went drinking. By 11.45 p.m, everyone had to leave to catch their train but Miya-san and I stayed behind and bought some beer from the convenience store and drank in front of the train station, just like old times. We talked and he told me about his dream to become a dance producer and changing the dance industry there. We lost track of time and ended up talking till 1 am when I suddenly asked him the time, only to rush to the station and the attendant telling us it’s closed. So Miya-san did the next best thing…he sent me home on his bicycle! Not only was this my first time staying out this late but it was also my first time being sent home on a bicycle. It was a fun but scary experience because Miya-san was a little drunk from all the alcohol. I got lost trying to get back to Hiraishi’s house (I don’t know why I manage to get lost every single time in the same place!) When we manage to get back to my place, I was worried if he would even manage to find his way back! Haha.

Nomikai(drinking gathering) with my old high school dancers

The next day, I called up Michi because she wasn’t at the gathering and I really wanted to meet her. She was working at a salon in Ikebukuro so I headed out to look for her. Not knowing the place, I was walking and calling at every phone booth. After an hour of searching and calling, we manage to meet up but leaving me hot and sweaty. I ended up having to go to her salon and having her give me my first manicure since she was suppose to be at work. The experience was fun as I discovered a new part of Ikebukuro.

I manage to meet up with Amane and Natsuko as well over the next few days and we dressed up to go to Shinjuku, Shibuya and the upscale Roppongi. Amane went shopping with me for a new purse and walking into every LV, Gucci, Fendi and other branded store was so fun! I didn’t want to buy it that day because I didn’t bring my passport along but just browsing was an experience as I wouldn’t usually walk into these stores.

Looking for a purikura machine

Roppongi

The view of Tokyo Tower from Roppongi

Bling bling outside LV

Tomo-yo

Kampai! A toast to us!

The next day, I went shopping alone in the morning before heading to my school for the last time to meet up with some other teachers. I’m now the proud owner of a new Burberry purse. Meeting up Takiguchi sensei, Seihata sensei, Minowa sensei and Kitty-chan sensei before leaving was a fun experience as well. I rushed back in the afternoon to take purikuras with Tomo at Ikebukuro and then to Mc’Ds to meet Nobuyo. We had our last dinner with friends and family and I made bak kut teh for everyone. Miya-san, Michi and Daisukei showed up and it was a wonderful dinner. Tomo and I stayed up to watch my latest drama addiction, “Ikemen Paradise” which literally translates to “Paradise of Handsome Men”! Haha. Even mummy manages to like this silly comedy even though she didn’t understand what they were saying. Oh well, Japanese comedies are easy to understand just by watching.

Koishikawa High

Takiguchi sensei and I

Minowa sensei: my sweets supplier. Arigatou sensei!

Hello Kitty sensei

Seihata sensei: Please remember me this way!
Silly faces

My trip back to US was tiring as I almost missed my flight…twice!!! Haha. Thank god I didn’t as I would lose it this time. I didn’t realize my departing gate from Narita airport was changed and I was waiting for a long time. On impulse I checked my ticket and realize I was waiting at the wrong place!!! I nearly freaked out but luckily my plane was delayed and the attendants and Narita were searching for the missing passengers. I manage to board and for the next 11 hours, it was pretty much static. Upon arrival, I had less than 2 hours to clear immigration and board the plane. As our plane arrived late, I was in a major rush and the line was moving so slowly. I kept hearing the Japanese lady next to me telling the attendants she was going to miss her flight and I was almost confident I would miss mine. Apart from the long wait, I didn’t have any problems clearing immigration and customs and I was dashing to catch my flight. I boarded breathless and relieved. Just as I thought all bad luck would end, I arrived at BWI not only missing a promised face but missing one piece of my luggage and as well. After settling all problems, Warren, Pei Chi, Dr. Joe and I had dinner at ONS. I began to feel the jet lag after 2 glasses of wine and fell on the bed as soon as I reached home and waking up at 2 am. My luggage arrived safely at 4.30 am and now I’m still up at 6 am typing these down. Summing everything up, this whole summer has been like a rollercoaster ride…filled with ups and downs at an incredible pace. This is certainly the best and most memorable summer of my life! I’m missing it already!!!!

Back to the US of A

-Saraba tomoyo mata kono basho de aou, Sakura mae chiru michi wo, ue de-
(Goodbye my friends, we shall meet again next time, on top of the front where the cherry blossom falls)

Sakura by Moriyama Naotarou

Still in my familiar place: Part 2 (Vacations and family time)

Our first trip out Tokyo was with Mama, Tomo, mummy and I to Hiraishi’s second home in Izu to go to the hot spring and watch fireworks. The hot spring experience was very nice but it was embarrassing for mummy as this was her first time being naked in front of everyone else but after a while, she stopped thinking and really enjoyed herself although she was red from head to toe from staying in the hot water too long. We had sushi and sweets before the fireworks began and the fireworks were beautiful as ever and this time I didn’t fall asleep! Getting a taxi home wasn’t too easy and we ended up waiting for about an hour because it was so packed. Tomo and I drank when we reached home and Tomo, mummy and I chatted till late. The next day we rushed to catch the Shinkansen to Kyoto but some problems occurred on the way and we missed our train along with our first class tickets. We manage to meet up with Papa halfway and Papa argued with the attendant to get our money back and this continued when we reached Kyoto station. Papa won in the end and we got some money back. Banzai!!!

Kyoto and Nara was sooooooooooo hot!!! We were in Japan in the hottest week of the summer and being in Kyoto and Nara, it was even worse. But the trip was fun as it was filled with delicious food, beautiful scenery and fun and laughter. We stayed in the ryokan as well and mummy was very happy as it was her first time. Over dinner one evening, I was recalling an experience about a senior’s nickname and it cracked everyone up and everyone was surprised how hilarious mummy was. As usual Tomo and I did our share of baka stuff but this time, mummy joined in! From our pretend wedding in front of the chapel to posing in the ryokan, mummy was in a good mood without understanding much. Luckily Mama communicated with her in Chinese while Papa spoke to her in English. We visited so many temples in both Kyoto and Nara. In Nara, there were so many deers and I was so scared when they all came to me that I made a fool out of myself and screamed so loud until mummy had to hug me and keep comforting me while mama tried distracting them. I feel so foolish now.Haha. One of the deers stuck close to mummy and they made such a cute couple.

Fresh wasabi

To the onsen (hot spring)

2 dead fish after the refreshing onsen

The beautiful parade of fireworks


Summer home

Temple in ancient Kyoto

Spring water

Kaiseki ryori (Traditional Japanese dinner)

My family

The Golden Pavilion (Kyoto)

So many temples, so little time

A little bit of heaven in the hot weather

The gobo (burdock root) family

This is not how its done...

Let me show you mummy

Making a fool out myself

New best friends


Beautiful Ryokan (Japanese hotel)

Naka yoshi

One the other days when we were in Tokyo, mummy and I practically traveled the whole of Tokyo in a few days. The first day we went to Ikebukuro, Shinjuku, Shibuya and Harajuku and we spent another day in Asakusa and Ueno. We went food hunting around Tokyo and I took her for some of my favorite foods including ramen, yakiniku, shabu-shabu and gyudon. OH THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!! I also took her to meet Takeda family and Takeda-san Papa was funny and nice as ever. We also met Watanabe okaasan and Yuko where we had the best sushi in Tsukiji fish market. I had O-toro and it was fantastic!!! I manage to go to grandmother’s house for a while to pay my respect to grandfather, my beloved ojiichan who passed away about a year and a half after I left Tokyo. I also took mummy to Koishikawa High and we met up with my teacher to have lunch. I missed everyone so much and it was so nice to see everyone who took care of me. Tomo, mummy and I went to the Edo-Tokyo and sumo museum as well before mummy went home.

Living it large in Tokyo

Visiting Meiji-jingu temple (Our serenity in between chaos)

Asakusa

Sushi at Tsukiji Fish Market with Watanabes'. Oishii!

Fooling around at the sumo museum. Baka ne!


Last lunch with mummy. Fugu (blowfish) and shabu-shabu.

On the day, Papa and I saw mummy off at the airport and I was on my own for the next couple days. I felt a little sad and lonely as I watched mummy leave for I didn't know when was the next time I would see her. Spending time with mummy was amazing as I showed her the serene, the chaos, and wonderful colors Japan and Tokyo has to offer. I hope she had a great time and manage to experience Japan life in 10 days, what I took a year to do. I love you mummy!!

Making new memories in an old place: Part 1 (The arrival)

Looking back, these past 3 months have given and taken so much out of me. Coming back to US, it just feels surreal to be here after all the excitement, fun times, drama and commotion from the past months. This has certainly been a wonderful experience and a memorable one. I feel like I’ve also grown up mentally and emotionally from having to deal with problems I faced but at the same time, the child in me is very much alive from being home with friends and family in KL and Tokyo.

My trip to Japan this time is even better this time than 4 years ago! Not only do I have my mum from KL to share it with this time, but being much older this time and meeting up old friends and family there brings a whole new meaning to me about being a part of the exchange student community. The saying, once an AFSer, always an AFSer has never meant more to me than now. Hearing my host father tell me that I’m the only student who has ever returned to their home was so touching and overwhelming. In a way, I felt like I never left Japan. Everything still feels so familiar and comfortable and I was surprised my Japanese was just as fluent if not better than before (or so everyone there claims). It all started at the airport where Mama came to pick me up. I manage to meet Diogo before his flight back to Brazil for summer. Maybe it’s fate that I miss my flight so that we can meet up at the airport where I arrive and he flies off. Over dinner, the whole family reunited and this time, I was part of the family and mummy played the part of the new host student.

My 37 hour journey to Japan has finally started...

Our 30 hour wait in Changi Airport

Having tea at the poolside in Changi

Diogo and I at Narita Airport

Memories revisited

Yes, I'm in Changi airport for the 3rd time in my life. If you ask me, it's 3 times too many. Although they are voted the number 1 airport in the world, they are not the top of my list. Not only for the past 3 times I've been here was because of my 6 hour transit, but coming here throws me into a whirlwind of emotions. Everytime I come here, I experience the same set of emotions but in different order. This time its sadness, excitement and dread. Bad combination if you ask me.

I'm going to visit Japan again. Another place I can call home. This time however, I have my mum with me so I'm still holding on to a little part of Malaysia and my family with me...at least for now. I miss KL tremendously...coming back home was really the right thing to do. Old memories were revisited, new ones made and present ones carried with me towards the future.

I'm excited to see my host family again as well as my friends and family there. Some of my best memories were made in Japan. I can't wait to turn into the same corners of those streets I spent ages hanging out, taste the same food and meet the same people.

Another phase in my life has ended...something new should begin. I'm learning to let go and let live. If something is not meant to be, there's no use forcing it. I'm still holding on to the memories but I will learn to move on. Thank you for the memories.

Leaving

Time does fly by so fast! I'm leaving KL tomorrow after almost 2 months of pure lepaking and traveling around. I would like to thank my good friends for making my time here soooooooo memorable. I will miss all the mamak sessions, clubbing and drinking, holiday trips, spending moolah and just being there for me through good and bad times. Thanks Jon and Sim for rushing back to KL just to spend time with me before I leave and Pau and Ling for staying out so late. and the rest for just taking the time and effort to make my night so perfect And thank you for the flaming lambo! It was crazy!!! Thank you to all my other friends who I hung out with this vacation. I love ALL of you sooooooooooooooo muchie muchie!

This vacation has been pretty tiring with all the trips and excitement going on. Kinda makes me want to hold on to life here. But there are also obstacles and stuff that's waiting for me in US to handle. Hopefully everything will run smoothly. Sometimes I wish I was more independent and confident in things I have to do and obstacles I have to overcome. I hope my life does not fall apart when I return to the States. I hope I hope I hope....

Next stop is Japan. Gosh, I have to brush up my Japanese and culture!!! I can't wait to meet all my friends and family there as well. Hope this will be another vacation that's hard to forget.

I hope I don't cry at the airport tomorrow. Haha. More than that, I hope I don't cry when I get to US airport. Don't make me cry...*cross fingers*

Until next time, SAYONARA! Will be posting up pictures soon!

Numb

Can't believe you almost forgot this feeling

When you feel the pain,

Just light it up and drink up biatch,
The best painkiller is here to stay,
Maybe that's all you need right now.

Trippin

Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know lyrics


Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know lyrics