Yesterday....

Just when you think you can look forward to tomorrow, yesterday comes and hits you in the face. Suddenly, you're pushed into a time capsule to revisit the memories that seems so surreal now. I just wanted to let bygones be bygones and move on with life. Why did my angel turned out to be human after all? Maybe it is guilt that makes us all human. The burden of guilt pushes us down to earth and prevents us from soaring into the skies. If saying sorry is your way of getting over your guilt, as childish as I may sound, I'm sorry too because I cannot forgive you. You trying to say sorry for your actions doesn't make it anymore justifiable. You trying to say let's be friends doesn't erase any pain you have caused. Excuses you now give to make up for your quiet actions then doesn't award you retribution.

Yesterday was an interesting day.

1. My day started out with an unexpected conversation with someone from the past. I'm sure most of you can guess who it is by now. Whatever...
2. I've been sick since Sunday and it didn't get much better come Monday morning so I went to work lethargic and cranky. I think my bitchiness level was 200%. Luckily no one gave me trouble at my workplace =)
3. My friend sneaked into my house while I was asleep to cook congee for me because he knew I was sick. His first time cooking and I actually dared eat it. Luckily I'm still alive. Haha. Just joking! It was delicious (after all the seasoning I added of course). Thank you!
4. Call 911! Ling, Warren and I nearly died because we decided we had big balls to go try Cluck U's 911 buffalo wings. These are wings where you have to sign a liability waiver before buying so you can't sue them if anything happens to you. The box came with a warning "Death in a box". Opening the box, I think our balls got even bigger because the overpowering smell of jalapeños didn't make us waver while the rest of our friends were cringing over the smell. The dare was to eat the wing without any dipping. Bad idea. I took the first bite and automatically spit it out. The taste was bitter and inhumanly spicy. Ling was even braver...she actually swallowed a piece of it. Tears immediately formed. Warren freaked out after watching "the Malaysian's" reaction and 'chicken out' (pun intended) and only tasted the sauce which was enough to get him looking worse than the baboon after drinking. Minutes after that experience I felt my whole body aching. To start with, I was already sick but trying the wing just made my body go into overdrive. Ling threw up while I was crying in pain and crazily searching for medication while refusing to go to the hospital/doctor or drink milk. The rest of the night was a painful experience we would never want to repeat and I think we learned our lesson well. Never underestimate how spicy American food can get.
   

Well, at least both of us survived through the night and even went to class today! High five! All these wings have made me so warm. I need to reduce all this heat in my body. Next craving...Ice-cream anyone?

Dramaless life

I don't feel like posting much these days.Nothing exciting anyways.My drama life is over so it's calm for now.Just hiding in my crib and at work watching more Japanese drama with my sucky connection at home.I just finished season 1 and 2 of Hana Yori Dango which is the original version of Meteor Garden (remember f4?).Haha.Gay right?But what caught me most is the soundtrack for the drama which is Utada Hikaru's Flavor of Life.I have heard this song a long time ago when I didn't understand Japanese but this time it made more sense.Maybe it's also because songs always relate to a part of your life and experiences.I'm gonna start watching a new series again but for now go check out to the video.Here is the lyrics and translation to the song.Until next time guys,take care!Hugs

Running away?

Sorry it took me so long to update my posts.Life here has been pretty much the same thing for me the past couple weeks.Sleep,school,work,internship,watching drama and lazing around.More than anything else I think the Japanese drama and sleep have been the top of my list.I've gone through watching more than 10 different dramas in the past couple weeks.Well at least my real life is not as dramatic...I hope.

There have been a little bit of drama the last time I went back to Grand Central.I've been laying low for a couple weeks due to my internship and need of beauty sleep so I felt like a caveman when I stepped into Central.The same crowd was there coupled with some people I totally didn't expect to see.Maybe it was fate.Just when I thought I was over you....

I didn't know whether to fight or flight.Maybe I should have left early that night.But obviously I stayed behind to watch the drama unfold in front of my eyes.Dealing with my own emotions was hard enough but double it with two other people's emotions....thats like 16 times the drama.Pulling and pushing emotions around like its a child's game.The one you want is out of reach so you grab the second best thing who has totally fallen for you and you force yourself to feel somewhat compassion and even lust for the person?Who are you kidding?I can still feel the aftertaste of it in my mouth now...bittersweet with the sourness of guilt.

The ironic thing is the one I want to stand up for is gone and the one who stood up for me I've driven away.And the funny thing is I couldn't even stand up for myself in the first place.Maybe if I was strong enough from the start there wouldn't be all these shit I have to deal with now.And to top it all off....I can't seem to feel anything in my heart...only the frustration in my head is a reminder that I have issues.They say that eyes are the windows to someones soul.Either my eyes lie or is it just that I have no soul?Someone told me I'm being overly analytical for my own good.I enjoy analyzing and planning but maybe in life it doesn't work that way.Analyzing my own emotions while I'm not even feeling it is kinda lame right?What do you think?

Sorry for those who thought I would come up with another funny lame post such as Ikemen Paradise.This is just another bitching session for me.Until next time....cheerios!