Running away?

Sorry it took me so long to update my posts.Life here has been pretty much the same thing for me the past couple weeks.Sleep,school,work,internship,watching drama and lazing around.More than anything else I think the Japanese drama and sleep have been the top of my list.I've gone through watching more than 10 different dramas in the past couple weeks.Well at least my real life is not as dramatic...I hope.

There have been a little bit of drama the last time I went back to Grand Central.I've been laying low for a couple weeks due to my internship and need of beauty sleep so I felt like a caveman when I stepped into Central.The same crowd was there coupled with some people I totally didn't expect to see.Maybe it was fate.Just when I thought I was over you....

I didn't know whether to fight or flight.Maybe I should have left early that night.But obviously I stayed behind to watch the drama unfold in front of my eyes.Dealing with my own emotions was hard enough but double it with two other people's emotions....thats like 16 times the drama.Pulling and pushing emotions around like its a child's game.The one you want is out of reach so you grab the second best thing who has totally fallen for you and you force yourself to feel somewhat compassion and even lust for the person?Who are you kidding?I can still feel the aftertaste of it in my mouth now...bittersweet with the sourness of guilt.

The ironic thing is the one I want to stand up for is gone and the one who stood up for me I've driven away.And the funny thing is I couldn't even stand up for myself in the first place.Maybe if I was strong enough from the start there wouldn't be all these shit I have to deal with now.And to top it all off....I can't seem to feel anything in my heart...only the frustration in my head is a reminder that I have issues.They say that eyes are the windows to someones soul.Either my eyes lie or is it just that I have no soul?Someone told me I'm being overly analytical for my own good.I enjoy analyzing and planning but maybe in life it doesn't work that way.Analyzing my own emotions while I'm not even feeling it is kinda lame right?What do you think?

Sorry for those who thought I would come up with another funny lame post such as Ikemen Paradise.This is just another bitching session for me.Until next time....cheerios!