Dr.Phil of BS

Disclaimer: The following text in this posting is just my personal thought at this time. It is in no way to insult or hurt others and neither should it be used as an indicator to any potential emotional or psychological illness. Contradictory thoughts shall not be judged harshly.

I realized these days that I've become addicted to lying to myself and others. Not in a way that is harmful or anything...but more of convincing yourself and others about feelings or situations that may not be true.

I hate it when people try to be nice but don't mean it.I hate it even more that I've become succumb to doing that bullshit. For example,whenever someone asks you "How are you?", your body responds automatically by saying "Good.And how are you?" and the person is suppose to reply "Good." Period. So yeah....good. I mean its one thing to say things like that to a complete stranger or acquaintance or even your boss but friends? I once told my friend that we've become like people from the customer service hot lines when he responded the above. Give me some honesty my dear friend.

I had a conversation with my friend on MSN the other day and he was asking me why girls would want sex buddies when they are attached.Err...same reasons guys do,I guess...He went on asking me more and I ended up giving explicit details to why I think girls would feel that it satisfies their emotional and physical and whatever other desires they have (acting like I know so much on the issue when I don't). I continued thinking about our conversation in the shower and realized that its actually simple...some people are just selfish.As if the main course is not enough, we always want to leave room for the cake (make that a tiramisu dahlink).

Another conversation happened at the bar.I was out with my good friend and bumped into this person who use to bartend at a bar/lounge I patron often. He quit and a few months later I meet him at this bar chilling. Anyway, after settling down to a drink, this was the conversation literally:
N: I assume you're attached, right?
Me: *caught off guard* Huh? Why would you say that? (if that was a pickup line...it's a REALLY bad one because the alarms were ringing in my head to leave)
N: I don't know.You look like a serious person. So you are,right?
Me:*uncomfortable laugh*. Err no,I'm not interested at the moment.
N:Oh....i see. Why?
(The conversation took a good turn as I joked on being serious in everything else but relationships and then said I had to get back to my friend)

Wtf.I didn't even know to be insulted or take it as a compliment.I mean, what was that all about?Just because I look serious means I'm attached.The worse thing is him saying "I assume you are..." Maybe he was just trying to use reverse psychology on me.Whatever it is,it didn't work.Remember friend, assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.

I also met a person I've been avoiding for a couple weeks or more at the bar that night.That person and I manage to clear up whatever drama and get back on track as being friends.On my part,I still feel awkward when that person apologized so I just said the most appropriate thing in that situation, "Don't worry about it.People grow up and get over things". Liar.

My friend told me I should be more honest to myself and to others. He said otherwise, at the end of the day I will be like the boy who cried wolf. I told him my face is an open book. People can tell easily when I'm happy or not.But that won't help me in the real world.That's why I'm learning PR. I know I will never be successful in PR because I'm still unable to overcome my shyness (and inferiority complex) and appear confident but at least it will help me be more diplomatic and hide my true emotions. BS or not....I'll let you figure this one out.